Still in Shock…

Find support and treatment options from participants and Maze Women’s Health staff.

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    K Howard

    Saturday…September 15, 2012…7:03pm….7:15pm….This date and these two times literally have changed my life! My husband and I were able to achieve pretty much pain free insertion tonight (day 33 post procedure)!!! We are so excited and thankful to Dr. Pacik and the staff for their ever so encouraging words and to each of you here on the forum for all of your support.

    We knew that we wanted to try tonight but didn’t have a specific time or anything. I dilated for 2 hours with the #5 glass dilator (while we watched some TV) and then by accident (lol) dilated with the #6 glass dilator for 3 hours. I say by accident because I had only planned on keeping it in for an hour but my husband had started playing video games and I was working away on the laptop and time literally got away from me! When I finally looked at the clock it was about 20 minutes until hitting the 3 hour mark and so I figured why not just finish it out since I’d kept it in for so long already. When I got ready to take the dilator out, I told my husband (half jokingly) to get himself ready (I had to go to the bathroom) so that we could insert him. As I was in the bathroom, I thought that yes, this would probably be the best time for insertion since I had pretty much just taken the dilator out. When I came out of the bathroom I grabbed the bottle of lube and interrupted his video game and told him “here ya go”. He seemed to be taken aback at first – probably because I was initiating things – but then realized I was serious and so we proceeded.

    Of course the biggest thing was what position we should use. We ended up in the missionary position with my legs up in the air around his neck. We had a couple of few failed attempts at first but did not give up! In that particular position I didn’t feel as vulnerable as when I was in missionary with my legs/knees open (similar to the position for an exam or something) and leg lock set in. This way my legs were up and out of the way and I was able to insert his penis in the direction that felt most comfortable for me (angling to my left side). The first time or so he seemed to get in to the point right before the “fall in”. The second time he was able to go all of the way inside. I think with the third try we just wanted to be sure that what we thought happened really did lol. So on the last try after he went all the way inside I just began weeping. There were just no words that could explain all of the emotions that I was feeling all at once. I don’t think my husband wanted to get out as we laid there for about 15 minutes – not saying many words; just embracing one another. I joked with him saying – so much for tip only!! After he pulled out, he did masturbate, allowing him to relieve himself. It was such a wonderful experience all around. Even in typing this I’m still in shock by what happened. It all just seems so unreal.

    I feel as though I’m missing something in my writing (it just seemed like so many things going on at once or something) and please forgive me if I have but I hope that about covers things. Of course if you have any questions or anything, please let me know. 🙂

    Thank you all AGAIN for your support on this journey called vaginismus.


    So happy for you! I just found this website a week ago and had no idea there were so many women who suffered with the same thing that I have been suffering with for so many, many years. Hearing your success is very encouraging! Thank you for sharing.


    Congratulations! What a huge turning point. We too had trouble finding the right position, but perseverance and not giving up definately pays off… well done 🙂


    Karla, I am SO SO SO happy for you and your hubby!! After meeting you today you have given me so much hope. I wish nothing but the best for you!!! Talk to you soon! 🙂

    Dr. Pacik

    Brought tears to my eyes. I’m SO happy for the two of you. After 18 years and two tries David has defeated Golitath!
    Congratulations and hugs!


    Karla, I am soooooooooooooooooooo happy for you!!!! HUGE CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    K Howard

    Nakitalab -Thank you so much! Yes, it is very eye opening to see so many women (and their loved ones) from all different walks of life going through this; mostly in silence and shame. I wish you the best in everything! YOU will be successful in overcoming!!

    Arose – Thank you! Yes, such a huge turning point for us. At least now my brain knows that it’s okay for my husband to be in there lol (even different from by brain understanding that it’s okay for the dilator). Perseverance definitely was the key!

    Allie – Thank you 🙂 That means a lot. It was so great getting a chance to actually meet with you yesterday and put a face with the posts lol. I know that you and your husband will conquer this once and for all very soon!

    Dr. Pacik – A HUGE thank you to you and your staff for never giving up on me and ALWAYS having an encouraging word and firm counseling when I needed it most. You have truly been a God-send in my life and I am so thankful that I didn’t give up and decided to have the surgery again. I just cannot thank you enough for what you have helped me with. I know we still have some things to accomplish but without you and your program, I know we would not have gotten this far in such a short period of time.

    Heather34 – THANK YOU for encouraging me from my first introduction post until now 🙂 I’m thankful at the kindness you have shown to me (and so many others) here on this forum! I appreciate all that you do!!

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