Sleeping with dilators

[Anonymous]

It has been a little over two years since I had the procedure. I am not married but just recently moved in with my boyfriend of three years. After the procedure, my boyfriend and I both traveled a lot for work so it was hard to see one another and try intercourse after I dilated. There were a few weekends from time to time that we were together after the procedure and intercourse would work it just wasn’t a daily or weekly occurrence for us! Even though I brought the dilators on my business trips I always found it hard to sleep with the dilators ( especially after the botox wore off) and in the morning and evening I did not have enough time to dilate for an extended period. Now after two years the Botox has obviously worn off. After about a year, I stopped dilating. Now that we have moved into together we get to spend a lot more time with one another. I do not travel for work anymore and my boyfriend has not traveled in a few months. Recently we had intercourse but it was not pain free for me. (Before I continue I just want to say, even though it was not pain free I was still able to have intercourse which is amazing. I can also have a gyno exam with no problem and wear tampons so I am very happy with my progress after the Botox treatment.) I just felt that after all this time I should continue to have pain free intercourse and I shouldn’t have to stop after 2 or 3 minutes because it hurts a little. I called Dr. Pacik after about 8 weeks of the pain occurring. He recommended I go back to dilating and sleeping with the dilators. I have been able to dilate in the morning and evenings for 15 minutes but I am having trouble sleeping with the purple dilator at night. Any advice or tips or tricks you ladies have I would definitely appreciate it. I also recommend that if you and your partner do not get to see one another often that you continue to dilate even if it has been after a year of the Botox treatment – I think if I did that I would not be in this position now.

So again, any advice is greatly appreciated! Also, did/does anyone have trouble sleeping with the dilators after the Botox wore off?

[Heather34]

@123, welcome to the forum, congratulations on all of your successes, and thank you for sharing your story. This is a very good post filled with questions that will help so many others who also may be experiencing the same challenges post-procedure. You wrote “[Dr. P] recommended I go back to dilating and sleeping with the dilators.” I think this is very, very important to try to do. I have skipped dilating and once I go back to a regular dilating schedule, I notice that intercourse is more comfortable. Further, you wrote “I am having trouble sleeping with the purple dilator at night … any advice or tips or tricks?” I’ve found that using lubricant very liberally will always help with the insertion and remaining comfortable. Then, as for sleeping, I’ve found that lying on my back makes this the most comfortable. I’ve heard other women who have used a pillow underneath and this works good as well. Also, in another post, Lifi made the following good suggestions for “sleeping with dilators”
“What helped me get over the awkwardness of sleeping with it (only in the beginning) was to get into a comfortable position until I almost didn’t feel it in any more. Then fell asleep in that position. Then after a few days, I held it in place while I moved around and tried to find other positions that were comfortable to sleep with the dilator. It also helps to have panties on to keep it in place. I also don’t put the dilators in too deeply. Dr P says that they are too long and don’t actually need to be in all the way. Plus it was way more comfortable to have only half of it in.”
Thank you so much for your post 123 and I look forward to reading more of your posts. Ladies, do you have any further advice, tips, suggestions here?

[Anonymous]

Thank you for suggestions! I am going to try all of your tips tonight and I will keep you posted. This forum is a great idea! Thank you.

[Heather34]

@123 … Thank you for your post and please let us know how the tips and suggestions work for you tonight. Take care, H

[hopejones]

I usually sleep on my side with a pillow between my legs and this seems to help. Also, if i’m laying on my back I’ll usually put a pillow under me. I use LOTS of lube and wear tight underwear. Hope this helps!

[Dr. Pacik]

Dilators that are stuck in the morning:
Every so often someone emails me that the dilator feels like it is stuck when they try to remove it. If this happens just rotate it first to break the seal and then remove. The water based lube absorbs at night making the dilator feel dry. Other tricks: coat the dilator with a silicone lube first before putting on the water based lube, or coat the dilator with some cocoa butter before applying the lube. See if that works better. I would appreciate feedback.

[hopejones]

Using silicone based lube has helped me tremendously when it comes to the dilator getting stuck in the morning. I haven’t had any problems since switching from water based to silicone based.

[wine54]

I don’t have the colored dilators(mine have a removable handle) .I have the book “Completely overcome vaginismus” and it does not talk of sleeping with them.I can’t imagine how it would stay in all night without holding it in

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Karen

[Dr. Pacik]

Most patients tolerate sleeping with the medium sized dilator (Pure Romance purple #4 of 6). The length is satisfactory in that it does not stick out as do the #5 and 6 dilators. The vaginal muscles have a tendency to push the dilator out, therefore sleeping with a good fitting pair of panties helps. Sleeping with the medium dilator makes advancing to the pink #5 very easy in the morning. The dilator is removed and immediately replaced with the pink for the morning dilation. This also sets the stage for progressing to intercourse in the morning especially on the weekend when there is less rush to get to work.
The new glass dilators appear to be more comfortable both for sleeping and when progressing to the larger sizes in that they are shorter and more comfortable because of the design. More information will be posted soon on this website, or you can call my office for details.
I would love to hear from the others, this is an important thread.

[Diana]

It has been a little over 5 months since my procedure and sleeping with dilators is now part of my bed routine. As Dr. Pacik indicates, using a good pair of fitting panties (i.e: Spanx) helps to keep the dilator in all night. I have the colored dilators and have been sleeping with Mr. Purple (Dilator #4 out of 6 sizes) ever since my procedure. Mrs. Pink (Dilator #5) enters only about 75% of its size and Mr. Blue (the biggest of them all) enters about 50% only. I have marked them both with bands (the kind you use for your hair to get into a ponytail) so I make sure I have reached the desired lenght when dilating. I hope this helps, happy dilating!!

[Heather34]

Hi ladies. So much can be said on this topic of “sleeping with dilators”. I have a question for the veterans and Dr. Pacik. If one becomes very, very busy or must travel for work and cannot find the required time for daily dilation post-procedure, will sleeping overnight with the dilators suffice?

[Dr. Pacik]

An important part of my counseling mentions that five minutes is better than no minutes. Every time one dilates this is beneficial even if it is a short period of time. Sleeping with a dilator gives excellent passive stretch and will be a good substitute for the woman who is pressed for time. Then there is always the weekend when one can catch up. Some of my patients dilate ONLY during sleep and not at all during the day. They too do well.