Sexual Success After Treatment!
July 27, 2014 at 5:27 pm #9231Alice14Participant
I just wanted to share my story about working toward achieving intercourse post procedure. First, a little background information. 🙂 I had my procedure with Dr. Pacik on June 2 of this year, about 8 weeks ago. My whole life I was never able to insert anything vaginally, but I didn’t realize the extent of the problem until I was married in June of 2013. My husband and I had a very difficult first year of marriage navigating the negative consequences of vaginismus, as you all unfortunately understand. We waited until we were married to have sex so we were surprised when on our honeymoon, we were unable to consummate our marriage. I felt like it was my worst nightmare coming true. That being said, I know we are SO incredibly blessed to have only dealt with the terrible condition for a year before we found treatment. I thank God for that!
About 5 weeks after the procedure, we decided to try penetration. My husband was able to penetrate me two separate times but I was not able to tolerate any thrusting. We were so excited! This was the first time he was able to enter me! We tried a couple positions, and I found that the missionary position (man on top) was the easiest for me. Having me on top was too much penetration at first.
Because of my work schedule, we were unable to attempt sex again for a week. The next time we tried, it was not so successful. I have been struggling with low libido, and although I WANT to have sex, my body will not get aroused easily. All the things that used to arouse me prior to learning I had vaginismus were not working. This second time, he was only able to get the tip in and I had some pain. Nothing excruciating, but enough that we had to stop. I was very discouraged and was afraid that although my body was physically progressing, I was not progressing as quickly emotionally. I worried that we had lost our chance at intimacy because our bodies had been trained to respond negatively to the sexual experience. I quickly emailed Dr. Pacik and he had some good advice. He encouraged me not to get discouraged and to keep working at it. He also said he could refer me to a counselor if we continued to have problems.
Yesterday, we tried for the third time to have sex, and this time we were COMPLETELY SUCCESSFUL! For the first time, he was able to penetrate me and I was able to tolerate thrusting and we consummated our marriage! There are no words to describe how happy we are. Missionary position with my hips on two pillows was the best position for me and we used the lilo liv to help relax me and keep me well dilated during foreplay. Although there were no “bells and whistles” for me, it was definitely pleasurable and I enjoyed having that intimacy with my husband for the first time. Because of this, I was able to make a new GOOD sexual memory, and I am hoping to continue this cycle! Having success yesterday has made me more hopeful and less nervous and anxious about sex. I am excited to see what our sexual relationship holds!
Although we were able to have success yesterday, our journey to a healthy, happy, sex life is far from over. We have a lot of work to do, but I am hopeful! And I am so thankful to Dr. Pacik and his staff! Even post procedure when I would hit a wall with dilating or get discouraged about our lack of progress with sex, Dr. Pacik and his staff were only an email away with encouragement and good advice. To think that 8 weeks ago, I would have a panic reaction, physically pull away, and have pain with even the slightest attempt at penetration, and now I am able to have intercourse with my husband! So wonderful!July 27, 2014 at 7:22 pm #1318523yearsParticipant
The struggles are real! There is no “cook book” cure for any one of us and no two ladies or couples are the same. However, Dr Pacik and his staff truly understand the struggles! They do! And that makes the journey all the more successful because they ride the roller coaster of “overcoming” with us.
One day at a time~
Smile…July 27, 2014 at 9:22 pm #13186Heather34Moderator
Huge Congrats Alice14. This is wonderful news!!!!July 28, 2014 at 4:46 pm #13187Dr. PacikParticipant
Wonderful news! Every email, every post like this makes my day!
Your post points out several important aspects of treatment:
You honored your dilation program and kept close contact with me for support.
Intercourse is not always successful the first time, nor the second time. Simply means that more work needs to be done.
Intercourse early on is usually not associated with bells and whistles, the success of penetration and the intimacy is more important. It takes awhile for the damaged libido to catch up.
It does take longer to catch up emotionally to where you are physically. Almost every woman goes through this.
You tried different positions until you were comfortable. Not panicking is key to success.
All of this is important to the women reading this to have a clear understanding of what to expect after treatment for vaginismus. This report is well balanced and will be of value to many others. I would love to hear from our other dilating divas what their early experiences were like and how they progressed. How is it different six months later, one year later?
Congratulations Alice14 on a giant step!August 13, 2014 at 3:58 pm #13300BeccaParticipant
Congratulations, Alice! 🙂 So happy for you and your husband! 🙂 I had my procedure in February of this year, and the first few times we tried intercourse I was not able to tolerate any thrusting either. I still struggle with low-libido, which is so sad because I definitely did not have that struggle when we were first married. That is one of the very unfortunate and frustrating side effects of Vaginismus. I have a hard time being aroused and I especially find it hard when it all the dilating and trying to insert his penis just feels like work to me and its not spontaneous or enjoyable in the way I want it to be. But, all of this will come in time, I’m sure! Just know you aren’t alone in those struggles! 😉 Congratulations again, and I hope you continue to have successful (and more enjoyable!) sex with your husband! 🙂September 21, 2015 at 1:25 pm #13871cherryblossom123Participant
I am SO delighted to read your post, well done 🙂 I had my treatment on the same day as you. I know I took your email addresses but I have since gotten a new phone and laptop and they have gotten lost somewhere 🙁
I would love to get in contact with you somehow!! And the other lady who shared the special day with us, ‘Hanna’!
Please leave a post here if you would like to get in touch (trying to figure out a way of getting my contact details to you without posting them on here !)
xxxSeptember 21, 2015 at 8:39 pm #13872Janet PacikParticipant
Cherryblossom123 — please do not post your contact information on this Forum. I will forward your information to the women who were treated on the same day.
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