Sexual excitement is good, orgasms are not during dilation process

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Dilating Sexual excitement is good, orgasms are not during dilation process

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    This point has been raised in several posts here on the forum, but there has never been a separate subject on this.

    During one of the first sessions I had with my pelvic floor therapist, she explained to me how our muscles down there work, and she also told me how sexual excitement can have an influence on the tension of the muscles. When you’re excited, your vagina starts secreting a fluid that helps with penetration (and it also helps you inserting a dilator!) and the vaginal walls become also less tensed. Reading a good book with some “naughty” passages before I start dilating is currently part of my routine, since that helps me preparing my vagina to accommodate the dilators. I also often use clitoral stimulation to get me in the mood.

    One thing that is ULTRA important when you use this technique though, is that you should absolutely avoid getting too excited, to the point you’re getting an orgasm. As most people have written here, this causes the opposite effect. The muscles clench down and make things tighter again. And this effect lasts for several hours!

    I always take this into account when I’m practicing with my dilation set. I don’t orgasm easily so it’s not that hard for me, but if you can come pretty quick, this is definitely something to remember!


    I was told sexual excitement helps the dilation process because of the lubrication and the fact the vagina “opens up” when you’re aroused, but I was always explicitly told to stop stimulation whenever I felt it was getting too intense.


    I’m glad you started a thread about this, Theresa! Like you and kiala2021 have said, it’s definitely helpful to be stimulated to make dilator insertion easier, that clenching that happens after an orgasm works against you for sure. A super useful dilation tip for anyone!


    My sexologist did mention to separate masturbation (includes climax) from my dilation exercises. However, today I found a cool trick of using my clitoral vibrator to distract my muscles in the region. I have always only been able to insert 1-1.5 fingers diameter into my vaginal opening but it has been months since I last did it. I skipped my daily dilation exercises from frustration and fear of dilation. However, I was done feeling sorry for myself so I tried with the distraction today. Surprisingly, I managed to push in 3 fingers fully in. Whenever I felt discomfort, I shifted my position or just counted down from 15 seconds while taking deep breaths. Any burning pain would fade to an ignorable throb at 15-20 sec point mark. Inspired by such progress, I decided to try and mimic “thrusting” movements and managed to climax. After that, I calmed myself down and I kept putting in more fingers till I had all 5 fingers in (not palm/ whole hand) – took me 45 mins of vibration and countdowns. From there, I felt brave and familiar enough of my vaginal opening & inner space limit to insert the 2nd largest dilator in. (which is the average Asian penis girth)

    I think that was a bad movement because my dilators are plastic and not flexible at all. I THINK I MAY HAVE BUMPED INTO THE “BACK WALL” shifting around and started bleeding.

    Now, I’m super freaked out and have abandoned everything and cleaned up the mess. I’ve washed up, put on a pad and popped a painkiller pill. I’m going to call my sexologist first thing in the morning tmr. I’M SO SCARED I MESSED UP REAL BAD THIS TIME ROUND. ) :


    Hi moonismine – what did your sexologist say? In the event you did end up hitting your cervix (the “back wall”) with a dilator, it’s definitely an UNPLEASANT feeling but isn’t dangerous for you. If you regularly struggle with your hard plastic dilators, you might consider looking into getting silicone ones that are less rigid and unyielding! Have you dilated since this happened?

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