Rigid hymen

[curious]

Hi there. I have a short question for you guys. I’ve tried to have sex once with a one night stand, and we had to stop because I was in pain. When I remove tampons it also feels uncomfortable. I told my doc about this and he suspects I might have a rigid hymen, and there is a chance I have vaginismus too.
My question is: since a hymen can break from sports, horse riding, biking, tampons, etc… do you think it is actually possible to tear the hymen one way or another myself? Or can this only can be done at the gyn?

[sonjab]

Yes indeed, as long as the hymen isn’t too thick or stubborn, you can tear it yourself. I’ve read an article on this once, and apparently this was even promoted in the sixties among feminists! They spread pamphlets showing you how to do this yourself cause doing it would “set you free sexually” or something in that style. There was a certain movement you had to do with your fingers and it would snap.

[recessivegenequeen]

Curious, it can definitely be possible for women to tear their own hymens, but if you have a particularly thick or rigid hymen, it can be trickier to do that yourself. There are surgeries to tear your hymen if you cannot do it yourself, but you might also want to take into consideration how bad your pain is and whether you want to handle it yourself or if that might be too difficult for you. I do not personally know how to do this but know that thick hymens have been discussed elsewhere on the forums and that there is information online about how to tear your hymen if you look. It just depends what your priorities are and how you want to go about it!

[curious]

Thank you both! I’ve already tried to look up how you can do it yourself but I can’t seem to find it so any directions would be welcome!

[mazemelissa]

I would encourage you to do this gently with a set of dilators.
You might even want to purchase some lidocaine to use prior to using the dilators.
Start small, and gradually increase in dilator size. Usually when you reach the larger sized dilators in your kit, if you still have an intact hymen, or partially intact hymen, you will slowly stretch, or tear the tissue that needs to give in order to get in the larger sizes.
The dilation will also help with any muscle tension that you might also be having that is causing pain.

[Heather]

I second what Melissa said! Dilation is so beneficial to the well being of our vaginal muscles anyhow so I always recommend it! It’s also good in aiding the tear of the hymen. But I would definitely get it looked it to make sure this is something you can do on your own time at home vs something that would need a surgery(super easy though no worries!) Good luck!!