Replacing Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones

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  • #8473
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi ladies. One of Dr. P’s treated patients just wrote an excellent post in which she described a really useful technique for overcoming all aspects of vaginismus (i.e. pre-procedure fears, dilation after, transition to intercourse, etc.). She wrote:

    “I also wrote down my feelings prior to the procedure and if I had a negative thought, I would try and replace it with a positive one. I would write my negative feeling out and then I would try and replace it with a positive thought. For example..this treatment is going to fail on me. Instead I would say, This treatment has helped hundreds of women like me who now are able to have pain free sexual intercourse. I owe it to myself and my husband to give this treatment a chance. I have valuable fears and concerns about the treatment which is normal and I need to address these fears and concerns.”

    I think this is such a fantastic idea to do ladies. I’ve done it with the dilating in the past. If I ever doubted for a second that I could do it, I replaced with this doubt with the statement that I successfully and comfortably did it at the surgical center and, thus, would be able to successfully do it again pain-free. What negative thoughts and feelings have you had (i.e. pre-procedure fears, dilation after, transition to intercourse, etc.) and what positive statements could you replace them with???

    #9991
    K Howard
    Participant

    This is a great post and great reminder! For me right now it would have to be:

    Negative thought:” What if I fail at this again?”

    Positive thought: “Things are far different than before. You are married now to a very caring and understanding man that will help you and encourage you through this. Many women have been very successful with intercourse and giving birth and you were with two of them on the day of your procedure so you KNOW that it works and it WILL work for you!”

    Thanks again for the reminder…I will buy a new journal JUST for this.

    #10020
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Karla. I loved your post and KNOW that you will have success!!! I loved what you wrote “you are married to a very caring and understanding man that will help and encourage you through this.” This was wonderful to read and is so true and very important. My husband was with me through every step of the process (driving up to the office when I wanted to turn around, holding my hand before and after the procedure, practicing with the dilators together, and making love). Also, by opening ourselves up completely to one another, it has strengthened our relationship and marriage that much more. I know you will do GREAT and you will have your husband by your side to help and encourage you throughout everything!!!! Can’t wait to read more of your posts.

    #18921
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    I absolutely LOVE the idea of replacing negative thoughts with positive ones in the journey to overcome vaginismus. Let’s come up with a list together of replacing a negative thought with a positive one?

    #18944
    mmmazemelissa
    Moderator

    Negative thought: “I can’t believe I waited this long to start treatment”

    Positive thought: “Now is when my body and mind are ready to start treatment”

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