Realizing you are not alone and talking to others with vaginismus
March 27, 2016 at 2:05 pm #18912Heather34Moderator
Hi all. While experiencing vaginismus during my 20s and into my early 30s, I always felt like I was the only one that had it and my husband also felt like he was the only man going through this. Fast fwd to being up in NH having my Botox procedure done and for the first time, we both had the chance to meet and talk to a couple who also had been experiencing vaginismus. It was eye opening and just beyond awesome to know that we weren’t alone and we still communicate off and on via email. Today, through this Forum, please know that you are not alone and there are so many others also who either have or have had vaginismus and we are all here to support each other. In a past excellent Blog, Dr.BatSheva talks about witnessing first hand how important this patient to patient communication is. Specifically, she writes:
“Something wonderful happened today. I saw a new vaginismus patient. Typical in many ways, she is in her 30’s, pretty and petrified of romantic relationships. She avoids relationships because she believes that there is something “wrong with her.” She feels ashamed and damaged. She really doesn’t believe she can be helped. The few relationships she has tried have left her feeling worse than when she started. She feels desperate now and is hoping maybe we can help, though she wonders (like most vaginismus patients) if she is beyond help.
So what’s the good news?
It just so happened that immediately following her appointment was a patient who was finishing treatment for vaginismus, a magnificent and beautiful woman (inside and out) in her 40’s who 3 months ago thought she would never be “normal.” I asked if she’d be comfortable talking to the new patient and she happily agreed.
Sitting there with the two of them almost made me cry. As I watched our “graduating” patient talk about all her fears and concerns when she came to us, and how empowered and normal she now feels, I felt so proud of her. And watching the new patient realize that her situation is not so unique and not so hopeless — watching her light up with a new found feeling of hopefulness — made me grateful for being in this profession.
Daily I feel privileged to have the opportunity to watch our patients struggle with their worst fears and conquer them — and privileged to be a part of the solution. But in the end, they are doing it themselves. I am blessed to be able to be a part of their lives.”
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