Questions for Spring and Summer to-be-treated patients

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  • #8495
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi ladies. For those of you who have your procedure coming up in the Spring and Summer, please feel free to ask any questions at all that you may have pre-procedure. It can be anything at all from what it is like to do the dilating to what fun things there are to do in New Hampshire, Boston, and the whole New England area while you are here. I live right outside of Boston and would be happy to share. I look forward to reading your posts.

    #9901
    Walker
    Participant

    Hi Heather,

    I talked with Dr. Pacik a week ago and he told me that I should buy a vibrator before my procedure to help with dilation afterwards. I have level 5 vaginismus and was wondering if you used a vibrator to help with your dilation and if so, did you bring it to your procedure in New Hampshire? My husband and I are talking about going together to find one but I have absolutely no clue what would be good. I really need a tutorial! 🙂 Just wondering what your experience is with this and if I need one before the procedure.

    #9904
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Walker. This is such a good question. Thank you for posting. I didn’t actually bring a vibrator to my procedure last year but I think it’s such a great idea. I think it would work great for distraction and relaxation to make dilating even easier. Following the procedure, I got an excellent small vibrator from “We Vibe” … It is very well made and has 7 speeds. I used it often along with dilating and intercourse as it worked for distraction/relaxation. For the ladies who did bring a vibrator to your procedure or purchased one afterwards, what suggestions do you also have?

    #9915
    Walker
    Participant

    I am planning my trip to New Hampshire for my procedure (June 12th…yeah) and I know Dr. Pacik has a special with the Raddison hotel but did anyone else stay someplace else nice during their procedure and pay less (has to have a complimentary airport shuttle)? I am just keeping my options open but we are planning to book this week. Also, we are are looking at maybe getting a rental car to drive to the coast because I love the beach and I think it would be a great opportunity to get my mind off the procedure. Any other suggestions of what we could do (locally or about 30 min away from New Hampshire) and what beaches and hotels there might be nice (if we decide to stay)? Just trying to figure out what is nice and fun to do to keep my mind off the procedure and have a smooth and comfortable place to dilate after the procedure. All suggestions and others experience in New Hampshire would be beneficial to help me decide what I might do during my stay. Thanks.

    #9950
    sunfish7
    Participant

    I have been considering treament for a few weeks. I have spoken with Dr. P and he has encouraged me to schedule for the end of July. I am freaking out! I am soooo scared, of the treatment and of the results. I worry that it won’t work for me and that it’s too good to be true. I still feel pretty uncomfortable talking about such intimate details of my sex life/vagina and I wish I could be as open as everyone here. I don’t know that I feel comfortable keeping in such close contact with the doctor after the procedure and providing all of the intimate details of my progress as far as intercourse and my sex life. I’m just really confused. When I first came on here and read about the treatment, I was all for it and felt relieved. Now that I know it might actually happen, I just feel anxious and scared.

    #9952
    Catherine
    Participant

    Dear Sunfish 7,
    I can only speak for myself and for my marriage. With that in mind, this procedure and the follow-up work with Dr. Pacik has been one of the best decisions my husband and I have made together. We just completed the procedure last week. The doctor and his entire staff treated us with such kindness, sensitivity, and care. The treatment itself: pain-free! Yes, there was (and is) a bit of discomfort/awkwardness as you begin to work with the dilators, but nothing that you -along with a supportive partner – cannot overcome.

    But, perhaps more than anything else, the accountability / counseling piece that follows with Dr. Pacik ensures that you will ultimately cross this vaginismus hurdle. I tried dilation on my own, prior to the procedure. Yet, I could not make the kind of progress necessary that would prepare us for intercourse. While Dr. P. cannot conduct daily counseling sessions with each of his patients (275+!), he is available to read your logs and offer you the appropriate guidance should you need support in the days/weeks/months following your in-office visit. Since we have returned home, we could not be more grateful for this “lifeline.”

    It is now “Day 6” post my procedure. While my husband and I have not yet achieved intercourse, I know that I am far more “elastic” and far more “aware” of my vaginal muscles and my pelvic floor. My husband and I are cautiously optimistic that we will – finally – be able to consummate our marriage — sometime during this four month Botox window! (We will keep all posted! Believe me. : )

    Yes, talking about your vagina and your sexual life with someone else will also feel awkward at first. It was (and still is) to me. But, I think we need to “expose” this area of our life to a professional doctor who has proven that he can heal suffering women and suffering marriages.

    All best to you as you discern your way…. Catherine MJ

    #9957
    sunfish7
    Participant

    I booked the treatment today for the end of July. I am very nervous, but also very excited. I think the hardest thing about vaginismus is all of the emotion that’s tied up in it. Technically it’s a medical condition, but it’s sooooo much more than that, as we all know. I am optimistic, though, and I try to stay in the mindset that it can only get better from here. Thanks so much for everyone’s support. This forum is a really special place 🙂

    #9960
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi Sunfish. Congratulations on booking your procedure! I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you and we are all here to support you through the process of overcoming vaginismus. Any amount of anxiety is entirely normal before making the decision for treatment as well as before the procedure. I’ve written in so many posts, but I seriously was one of the most anxious patients in the world pre-procedure and I, too, was so worried that the treatment would not work for me. The thing that truly helped me the most to get through this was the strong support from my husband and also trusting in Dr. Pacik and his staff. My hubby definitely grounds me with my worrying and he would just constantly assure me that he believed in Dr. Pacik and the program and he knew that it was going to work. It did and was truly life-changing for both of us! The follow-up care post-procedure was also so important for me as I was able to ask questions and receive answers concerning so many things: was I dilating right? for long enough periods of time? anxiety decreasing? etc. etc. etc. It also keeps you accountable for your own progress with using the dilators and transitioning to intercourse. Please know that we are all here for you Sunfish and please write back with any questions at all. And, Congrats again on booking your procedure!!!

    #9999
    casadyb
    Participant

    Hi Sunfish,
    I’m also booked for the procedure at the end of July – it’s so anxiety provoking and yet it feels like there is finally hope at the same time! I definitely understand your anxiety!!! I think the thing that makes me most anxious right now is my husbands involvement. He definitely wants to be involved – but after such a long time of not being intimate in that way – it’s scary, not to mention the feelings of “what if it doesn’t work!!!” All that said, I am trying to stay optimistic – and clearly there is every reason to be – look at all of the women the procedure has worked for already!!

    #10008
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi casadyb. Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. It is so, so common to feel both a combination of anxiety as well as excitement pre-procedure. I, too, remember feeling both nervous and very hopeful at the same time. I also was nervous about my husband’s involvement as I had considered it my own problem for quite a while. After having the procedure and waking up with the dilator in place, it seriously flipped a switch for me and I knew that something was inside of me for the first time and didn’t cause any pain whatsoever. This significantly reduced my anxiety surrounding penetration. Then, following the surgery, I had to practice removing and inserting the dilators. Initially, I was reluctant to do this with my husband involved and the amazing recovery room nurse, Andrea, gently explained that it really was a couple’s condition and something that we were working on overcoming together. I definitely listened to her and she couldn’t have been more right. We both practiced taking the dilator out and re-inserting it together and this brought us even closer. For me, by letting him do this, I trusted him that much more and didn’t associate him with causing pain. For him, he was able to see that the dilation worked and wasn’t causing any pain as any insertion had caused this in the past. It was a very eye-opening and wonderful experience for the both of us. Also, well away from the recovery room and in our bedroom, I, too, then associated my hubby with no pain and trusted him that much more. As scary as it was to have him involved, it was an excellent decision for both of us. I look forward to reading more of your posts and I know you are going to do great!!!

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