January 5, 2012 at 3:01 am #8382
I am one of Dr Pacik’s patients who is getting treatment over the internet without botox.
At first I thought it wouldn’t be possible because I was ‘just too small’. I had been to COUNTLESS doctors and ‘specialists’ before I got to Dr Pacik. But in just 9 days, my life changed completely 🙂
I started by sleeping with #1 dilator then waking up and switching to #2 for an hour. The first few days it felt strange and a little numb. But by the third day, I got the hang of it. Then it became a whole lot easier. I even felt daring enough to try different things, like getting up and walking around with the dilator in. I was never able to do that before, but by the 5th day, I could walk around with #2 in!!!!
For years, I had been stuck at #2. It had seemed to me like there was just no more space for me to open. Deep down, I was worried that I could never get past this point, but I decided to trust Dr Pacik. I also kept visualising the third dilator in me and stayed with that thought until it became ‘normal’.
For the next 3 days, I experimented with different positions of getting number 2 in, but always after dilating with #1 all night. Then… on day 9, it happened! #3 went in!!!!!!!!! and not just the tip, but about 2.5 inches in! The best part is, it slid right in and didn’t feel uncomfrotable at all! The only reason I didn’t keep it in is because I was too excited and wanted to share the news with Dr Pacik 🙂
What helped me get here were a few things:
1. visualising the next step (like imagining #3 inside) until I thought ‘of course it will go in’
2. Not putting any pressure or deadlines, but following my body’s tempo
3. pushing myself and being more daring about trying something new – whether or not I succeeded. If I failed, I just went back a step for a few days before advancing and trying again
4. Talking to and trusting Dr Pacik gave me so much confidence. I felt like I was properly heard and that this was the right course of treatment for me. It really helped!
1. sleeping with the smallest all night, then being in a comfortable position before trying #2 (at least in the beginning)
2. when advancing to the next dilator, it helped me to take very deep breaths and relax my entire body, then as the dilator comes to the entrance, I push out the muscles (almost like when you go to the bathroom) and it just went right in
3. stretch the skin around so there is nothing tugging or pulling (just to avoid discomfort)
But the main thing is that when I felt more daring and capable, I could do things that I really thought were physically impossible!
You really can do this! Believe me, if I can do it, you REALLY can! Good luck to you!January 5, 2012 at 10:48 pm #9491Heather34Moderator
@ Lifi, welcome to the forum and I loved reading your post. Thank you so, so much for sharing your story with us. You deserve sincere congratulations on your tremendous success! I also absolutely LOVED your tips for future patients and think these will be so, so helpful. Concerning your tips for conquering the mental aspect of vaginismus, I loved them ALL and especially loved #3 and #4. #3 – I completely agree that it is important to really push yourself about trying something new (i.e. could be a larger dilator, could be transition to intercourse, etc.). I also believe that “every day is different” and to really live with this philosophy. What works one day may not on another and then may work amazingly well on the very next day!!! #4 – I couldn’t agree with you more with trusting Dr. P implicitly. Again, it’s one of the best feelings in the world to find a doctor who “gets it” and is there to support you every step of the way!!! Concerning your tips for conquering the physical aspect of vaginismus, I again loved them ALL! I especially loved your tip on sleeping with the smallest dilator all night and then being in a comfortable position before trying #2. Dr. P posted a great blog today all about “sleeping with dilators” and I also posted questions to the forum about their experiences with this (Daily Question 3). I found that sleeping with the dilator was unusual at first but became comfortable and almost routine as time went on. I also found that the time period right after I removed the overnight dilator was the perfect time to try the next size dilator. Do you have any advice for future patients on sleeping with the dilators?January 6, 2012 at 3:16 am #9495
It’s so true Heather! First, thank you for listening 🙂 I’m glad you found the tips useful! I completely agree, that the mornings are the best time to move up to the next dilator.
What helped me get over the awkwardness of sleeping with it (only in the begining) was to get into a comfortable position until I almost didn’t feel it in any more. Then fell asleep in that position. Then after a few days, I held it in place while I moved around and tried to find other positions that were comfortable to sleep with the dilator. It also helps to have panties on to keep it in place. I also don’t put the dilators in too deeply. Dr P says that they are too long and dont actually need to be in all the way. Plus it was way more comfortable to have only half of it in.January 6, 2012 at 6:36 am #9500Dr. PacikParticipant
Thanks Lifi, my lady from Sweden. Yes, the larger dilators are all too L O N G!! Bouncing against the cervix is never pleasant and is one more source of discomfort. Dr. P.January 6, 2012 at 9:47 am #9502Amanda MillerParticipant
@lifi, wow that is a wonderful story. I am so proud of you. Me having level 5 Lamont, I couldn’t do just the dilating but for you to have the strength to do it is absolutely amazing!!!! Keep it upJanuary 12, 2012 at 3:04 am #9534
So true, Dr Pacik, and thanks again for that valuable tip!
Amanda, so was I! But I think the biggest reason I was able to do it is because I spoke to Dr Pacik, whoI felt truly listened and cared. Then, I just followed his instructions and viola! 🙂 Congrats again on your success! That’s really great news!November 3, 2013 at 5:45 am #12047Janet PacikParticipant
For anyone trying dilation on their own and find that their dilators are too L O N G, you may want to consider the Glass Dilators that Dr. Pacik had customized for his patients. Visit our website for more information on these Glass Dilators.
Except from our website: “The Pacik Glass Dilators are similar sizes in circumference to the Pure Romance line of dilators but half the length (approximately 3.5 inches or 88.9 mm). The ergonomic “hat” shaped design at the end allows the dilator to sit comfortably against the vulva without the discomfort of the protruding disc against the inner thighs. These are two of the important differences between the Pure Romance dilators and the Pacik Glass Dilators. Sleeping is also easier with these dilators. These dilators are custom made for Dr. Pacik’s patients with medical-grade tempered Borosilicate (Pyrex) glass to make dilation more comfortable. The Pacik Glass Dilators are easy to insert, easy to clean, and fit comfortably. They are stored in a fashionable black satin bag.
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