Procedure scheduled for next week!

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Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Procedure scheduled for next week!

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    I think I’ve always had vaginismus. I remember trying to insert a tampon in my early teens and being unable to do so, and it’s gone downhill from there. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years now and couldn’t ask for a more supportive spouse, but intercourse is definitely something missing in our lives. I have had the procedure scheduled for a couple of months now, but have been in partial denial that it was coming. Tonight is the first time I’ve read posts on the forum. Can anyone help with these basic questions?
    1) How many people are in the procedure room (besides Dr Pacik, the anesthetist and an RN)?
    2) Is it just you and your spouse behind a curtain practicing to dilate after the procedure, or does a nurse assist?
    3) What’s it like to wear a medium dilator home overnight? I have a fear that it will “fall out” and I won’t be able to insert it again!
    4) I’m already thinking about the first GYN exam after the procedure and wonder if it’s going to be painful? Has anyone had experience with this?

    Thank you for your help!


    Hi Mabel1226:

    My husband and I just completed the procedure with Dr. Pacik and his wonderful staff last week. Sounds like we share(d) a similar Vag. condition, ie. — no tampons, no intercourse for me, either. All coming soon : ) (I’m 39!)

    OK — your questions…
    1. Procedure Room — Dr. Pacik, Anesthesiologist (Dr. Rick Spaulding was ours — his videos are available on Youtube & through this site), an RN, and your spouse or partner

    Prior to the procedure, you and your spouse/partner will meet individually with that nurse, the anesthesiologist, and Dr. Pacik. Each person treated us professionally, and they clearly communicated what to expect that day. No surprises!!

    Also, at that time, the nurse will ask if you and your partner are open to group sharing/counseling with Dr. Pacik. If yes (highly recommended), you will sign a waiver (waives some of your HIPPA privacy rights). It is with your express permission that the doctor “opens the curtain” for sharing. I’m sure that if you are uncomfortable with this, you could opt out and remain entirely private.

    2. Regardless of whether or not you agree to group counseling (primarily designed for discussion on the second and third days), you will ultimately return to the recovery area (post your procedure on day 1) with just your spouse and a nurse. You will rest behind a curtain for most – if not all – of the time that first day. The nurse will walk you through and assist you with dilation. She will also help your husband “coach” you through these first steps. No worries.

    3. Medium dilator… Most people are able to leave with the dilator in place. I was worried, too, that I would not be able to walk with this inside of me. Generally, it works out! I will admit – my dilator did slip out at one point. I was not even aware of it slipping, until I used the bathroom. Thankfully, I was able to re-insert using the lubricants provided. If you were not able to re-insert it (you should be able to, but let’s just say… ), it’s not the end of the world. That’s why there is Day 2 and 3!

    4. Finally, re the GYN exam… Dr. Pacik spend some time talking / counseling re this follow-up exam. He even had us touch the instruments that the gyn typically uses. He recommends that his patients dilate just prior to that exam, ie go the exam with a dilator already in place! You will be properly “stretched” and more than ready for the insertion of an outside instrument.

    If you have any other questions, feel free to ask.

    Best of luck as you prepare for this next chapter in life….. Catherine MJ : )


    Thank you so much for your responses! It’s always helpful to hear someone’s specific story. Best of luck to you, as well!


    Hi Mabel. Welcome to the forum and thank you so much for your post. I know that your procedure is going to go very well next week and we are all here to support you. Catherine provided wonderful answers to your questions. Also, concerning the GYN exam, I experienced no pain whatsoever with my first exam post-procedure. I dilated for close to 2 hours with the largest blue dilator and also used a lot of lubrication. I also found one of the best ob/gyn docs in Boston and she was incredibly gentle and understanding. I would also suggest providing the doc with a copy of Dr. Pacik’s book or even a pamphlet so they better understand the condition of vaginismus. It is entirely understandable and normal to experience pre-procedure anxiety. I was probably one of the most nervous patients prior to my procedure and what really helped me to get through this was the support from my husband and trusting in Dr. Pacik and his staff. As Walker just said in a prior post, they have a way of making the most anxious patients feel very comfortable throughout the procedure and entire treatment program. I know you will do GREAT! Please write back with any more questions at all and, again, we are all here for you!!!


    Hi Mabel! I’m day 94 since my procedure and I can remember just feeling the same way. It will be worth it and easier than you think, don’t worry!

    The hardest night for me was night 1. I went home with the purple dilator in fine and was okay most of the day, but at night when the numbing creams wore off it started to feel uncomfortable. It wasn’t painful, but it freaked me out. I ended up taking it out and sleeping with nothing most of the night. On days 2 and 3, I kept practicing and was fine in Dr. P’s office, but could never get the hang of sleeping with it in. Just something about the angle of the way I sleep doesn’t work for me…. anyway, I felt like a failure because the other girls there were ahead of me and it was difficult. But I did it my own way and had successful intercourse on day 12 and am farther along than i could have imagined now!

    long way of saying…my advice – go at your own pace, try not to compare your progress, and do your best to let go of the fear and believe it is possible!


    Hi Mabel! Good luck on your procedure this week! I know everything is going to go GREAT and we are all here to support you!!!

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