After almost a year of dilation therapy, we’ve been given the green light for PIV. Much to my surprise, my husband can penetrate me without any issue, and all my pain is gone. However… and this is what worries me… after a minute or so, his erection goes away. He claims this is due to the fact he feels “nothing” inside. There is not enough friction according to him. Could it be I’m too wide now? Am I using too much lube? Or is he having other issues and using sensitivity as an excuse? As soon as I stimulate him manually, he can come without any issue.
Hi denise22 – first of all, congratulations on all the progress you’ve made so far! I know how much work dilation can be so you should be pleased with how far you’ve come.
In my personal experience (and from what I’ve seen again and again on the forums), it’s pretty common for the male partner to have issues of his own when you attempt to transition to intercourse. Often it stems from either a lack of recent experience with penetration or with a psychological nervousness around hurting you based on your past negative experiences with sex. Often this issue goes away with time or just requires some re-learning on his part. I think it’s HIGHLY unlikely that you’re “too wide” and that he is likely covering up some feelings of inadequacy. Since we as a society treat intercourse with such reverence, I think men often feel like they should enjoy it immediately and have no trouble with it, and they can struggle with the emotions of needing to adjust to it. Let us know if it’s a persistent issue, but I suspect it will go away with time and practice!