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    I found your site and want to introduce myself
    I am not sure if I have Vaginismus or whether my complaints are due to a lack of experience.
    I am in my 30s and have only had (attempted) intercourse three times in my life.
    I used to be overweight and only started getting interested in men in my late 20s when I had shed some weight and started to feel better about myself.
    Of the few times that I had intercourse most of them were unsuccessful caused by me tensing up and preventing penetration, my first time was like a horror movie waking up to white bed linnen covered all over in blood, neither of us knew how to handle this, i played strong as in its normal the first time round, he was nice and kissed me goodbye, i never heard of him afterwards …
    Other relationships ended the same way, I was dumped after any sex attempt which has left mental scars as I was rejected on this basis only.
    Thought I met a super guy earlier this year, we just clicked naturally and were inseparable until we tried to have sex and I froze, first he was like ok this is special but not the end of the world we have to take things slower and will work on this, the day after I was told he had been thinking, hardly slept and could not see me any longer.
    Now I am heartbroken and see a pattern I cannot have repeated forever and am looking for answers and solutions as apart from not having a sex life I keep on loosing those I care about. I am upset because I now realise that I actually may have a deep rooted problem and have problems dealing with this being the only single, unmarried, no kids female in my group and I feel like I am a freak – not being helped by one of my friends saying how could you think this is not a problem you were in denial, but I honestly always thought if I meet the right guy things will work out themselves and I might be bit older but other than that it is normal… problem is nowadays sex is expected relatively quick and I will not be able to open up in that time.
    This last heart break has spurred me into action and I have been to my GP and GYNO who recommended to see a psychiatrist who specialises in sex related matters. My GYNO did not really understand me when I told him about my problems and pointed out that he was not sure how counselling without a partner would work..and I was a pretty girl how could I never had more relationships….. point is I need to discover and solve my personal issues in order to keep a partner as at 33, men are not very forgiving with regards to a girlfriend who is like a teenager (and a very frightened one) – also I want to have a family and this way see my life falling into pieces if I cannot get to the bottom of this all.
    Medically I do not know if i have Vaginismus, I have used tampons all my life, have yearly checkups at the GYNO, they are uncomfortable but I do not think any of us like them..
    Sorry my life in a nutshell – any thoughts or suggestions are hugely appreciated.

    Dr. Pacik

    There are a number of reasons why I woman is unable to achieve penetration despite a desire to so. Vaginismus is high on the list especially if there is a history of “hitting a wall” which indicates spasm of the muscle just inside the vagina.
    I tell all inquiries to complete the patient questionnaire. Once I read through this I am usually able to make a diagnosis and am willing to have a complimentary phone conversation.
    It would also be helpful to read my book “When Sex Seems Impossible…” as this will give a good background to vaginismus and answer many questions.
    Thanks for posting and introducing yourself. I look forward to hearing from you.


    Hi Christina. Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. Please, please know we are all here to support you. I had vaginismus all through my 20s and was cured at age 34 after having Dr. Pacik’s Botox procedure. Up until that point, any attempt at intercourse never ever worked out. I dated different guys while attending college and would become so close to them and when it progressed to the point of intercourse, I would think this time would be different and, each time, I ended up having the same reaction – any insertion, even finger, was excruciatingly painful and I involuntarily withdrew. Then, often times, the relationship ended because of this and later relationships, I found a reason to end before this would happen again. It was very, very hard to experience. I tried very hard to find a cure during this time but nothing that I tried seemed to work. In 2011, again, at age 34, I (thank God), found out about Dr. Pacik and this treatment through an on-line yahoo Forum. I contacted his office and had the procedure on June 27th and was then able to make love to my husband pain-free just 7 days later on July 4th. I would definitely recommend to work with him in any way you can as he knows so much about vaginismus and this treatment is the cure that I searched all of my 20s and into my early 30s for. Sending you hugs and please, please know we are all here to support you!!!

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