Losing confidence in myself but really want to get over this!

[Rairai]

Hi! New here!

I see that there are plenty of other women who suffer with this. I don’t know anyone else in my life that does and I hard it really hard to talk to anyone about it. I am married but I find it very hard to talk to my husband to but I am very lucky to have someone who is supportive and has been understanding. But now I need some serious advise and help about how to move forward. I have tried many times to push myself to get over it and end up failing. I worry that I will never have children due to this. I am jealous of other women that have babies.

I want to get over it. Their is nothing wrong with me physically. I have been able to use dailators but something will happen and I feel like I have gone back years in my progress.

[Helen Leff, LCSW]

Hi Rairai,
Glad you posted. The key to overcoming vaginismus is consistent dilation. You write that you have been able to use dilators and something will happen and you then feel you have regressed. I’m not clear what you mean by something will happen. However, dilation is a process and when you return to dilating you don’t generally go back to square one. Working with a pelvic floor physical therapist can be helpful and please feel free to reach out to us at Maze.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Rairai! I’m so sorry to hear about your vaginismus issues – I know how difficult they can be as a former sufferer myself.

Helen is right in that consistency is important when it comes to dilation. Also, the psychological element of vaginismus is huge. There can sometimes be a disconnect between feeling comfortable inserting a dilator yourself and being able to be penetrated by a partner. If this seems to be where the issue lies, you can try having your partner insert the dilator to practice letting go of some of the control of the situation.

If this doesn’t address your problem, give us more info and we’re happy to help!