Inconsistency dialating

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    Hi Girls…

    I was diagnosed with vaginismus by my specialist, and the “q” for the next referral to another specialist for treating vaginismus is still long ahead. Did pap smear with the smallest size of dilator, and it hurts like … crazy, but when she examined by finger, no pain at all.

    Hence, I got myself a dilator kit by Amielle Comfort. I tried it today.

    Here is my experience…

    First, it was tight and hard to insert and I feel soreness on vagina wall, and something “block” at the front end.

    As per instruction, I held on, and push slowly. Then I pulled it out after 5 minutes.

    Then when I reinsert, I able to insert it effortlessly! Held it in for 5 minutes, and then I got it out, tried again, it’s “block” again, and if I push I feel sore 😯 but then I tried again, and able to insert effortlessly again.

    I kept it in longer this time, then I try the next size, I not able to insert fully, felt soreness and burning sensation.

    So I tried the smallest size back, and not able to insert from there on.

    I wonder why the inconsistency?
    Is it normal?
    Is it because I am “beginner”?
    Am I putting in wrongly, because I did not “aim” correctly? Pointed to the pee hole instead?

    The feeling of being able to insert whole dilator in although the smallest one, was so great, how I wish sex is like this 😀

    Hope anyone can help… thanks!

    Also, any expert can tell me why NHS (UK’s National Health Service) do not have and recommend Botox treatment for vaginismus?


    Hi Tiffa! Welcome to the Forum and thank you for your post. I think it’s wonderful as you describe that you can insert the whole dilator in and this is huge, huge progress!!! I believe the inconsistency that you describe with dilation is because you are new and beginning at it for the first time. Here is a post that also describes the roller-coaster ride that is dilating immediately after Dr. Pacik’s procedure:

    Please know that you are not alone with any of this and we are all here to support you. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Sending hugs!


    Hi Tiffa, you are doing an awesome job dilating and not giving up. Like Heather I think the inconsistency is because you are new at dilating. Your muscles are saying “what the heck?” The more you dilate consistently you will notice that it will get a little easier each time. Try to be patient with yourself and not get discouraged when you hit “the wall”. The link that Heather posted is excellent and hopefully will answer your questions and help you to understand why you are experiencing it being easier than others sometimes. You are doing a great job!


    However, this is my progress so far

    13-Dec #1 dilator – ok, proceed with #2 – 1 inch of tip only, inconsistent
    14-Dec #1 – ok , proceed with #2 – ok, proceed with #3 – tip only
    15-Dec start with #2 right away, proceed #3 a bit of push and force, went in!!! Painful but endurable and tolerable, for a short while, and gone. Tried #4 and only able to insert tip.
    16-Dec same progress with previous day
    17-Dec started with 3 right away, struggle a bit with 4 but repeated the same like how I struggled with 3 at first. Same thing happened, but even harder to get in even if I attempted the same amount of push and force. Then I got it out first, then I tried to feel with my fingers, it seemed like the pain/blockage was about 2 inches into my vaginal, a thick narrow wall with a piece of slightly firmer flesh compared to the rest, but if I able to pass that, the rest of the “tunnel” felt quite smooth. So I tried again and got it in, tight, very tight… and painful but tolerable, and gone after a few minutes. A bit uncomfortable when keeping it in, because it’s SO TIGHT, but the pain is gone. Kept that in with some kegels, let my favorite song (about 5 minutes) repeated playing two times, and got it out. Saw spotting when I cleaning myself up, while wiping off the lubes…- Discharge was light brownish yesterday night, I suspect it was my hymen broken? Because I never had a successful penetration before with my bf, and 2 ex-bfs… all only able to penetrate 1.5″ in the max 😐

    another issue… 2 days left for my next menstrual cycle and my menses are kinda heavy, hence, I am going to stop for a few days, hope that my dilated vaginal do not form back to pre-dilation! 😕

    this is the dilators I am using, I am so doubtful I can reach the last one #5 (said to be a “graduate size”), even my bf laughed and said his is not that big, only the 4, but I am sure it’s between 4-5, bigger than 4.

    This is the #4 & #5 (last one).
    the picture, almost true-to-size, add 20% to it would be the size of that dilator…
    I am not sure I’m gonna be bothered with #5 😕

    Me & my bf will be apart for a month by now, he’s going to work overseas for a month, hence I am giving myself a month to dilate before the transition to intercourse. I told him my condition and my experience with my ex, then we failed as well, attempted twice. Same old story, hitting wall, like sharp pain if he goes on.


    Hi tiffa. Please know we are all here to support you. I always took a break while dilating on my period and then started right back up when it was over. I started with the smaller ones and worked my way back up always and this really, really helped. Sending you hugs and support!!!


    Anyone here struggle with the final size of dilator set?

    I now have no problem for the forth one (Pink equivalent) , in fact I not bothered with any of the smaller ones anymore and start with the Pink-size right away

    But I cannot, tried for days, move on to the Light Blue (final one)…

    Today when I tried to tolerate and push… I got it in maybe 2.5″ and after the session, I bleed lightly, could it be I torn something? Like my vaginal wall? or remaining hymen? But the bleeding wasn’t severe and not painful afterwards.

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