I cannot go any further

[Hatuey]

Hi again
I had botox in London early June and I am still working on the dilators. My set has 5 but the doctor told me to go up to 4. I am on 4 but I can only get over half in and then it feels different and uncomfortable. From then on it does not go in smoothly. I would like to know if this is normal or I am not ready. Ant advice would be appreciated.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Hatuey! I think it depends on what exact kind of “different and uncomfortable” you’re talking about – depending on the size of the dilator, larger ones can only go so far inside you before they hit the end of the vaginal canal and will just go no further. Are you ABLE to push the dilator in further (however uncomfortably) or do you just feel like there’s nowhere else to go? It also might be worth thinking about how close the dilator is in size to any penis you might want to have sex with if that relates to your situation – if they’re similar in size you could begin considering trying to transition to intercourse. In a lot of ways a penis is MORE comfortable than a dilator because it’s flexible and softer.

Let us know if you have any other questions and I hope this helps!

[Jennifer Dembo, LMSW]

Hi Hatuey – congratulations on making such great progress! However, I understand it can be discouraging to meet some challenges along this path to healing. I second what Recessivegenequeen said – you may not need to insert the largest dilator completely depending upon whether or not you plan to have intercourse soon. I recommend a call to your provider’s office – they should be able to help you with next steps (which may include a different type of lube or position change, etc.) Best of luck!

[kassss]

Hi,

I am based in London and the botox procedure was not helpful for me as clinics over here do not look after the patients properly as Maze.

The only thing that helped me was Dr. Pacik glass dilators which could easily slip in and out and stretched the muscles enough for hubby and all gyno exams, I suggest try Glass Dilator No.05 and No.06 with aqua gel I hope this will really help with less pain.

Kass

[Jackie Giannelli, FNP-BC]

Hi Kassss,

I’m sorry that the Botox procedure wasn’t as helpful for you as it could have been. You are correct – diligent and proper dilation after the Botox procedure is as important as the procedure itself! We also like the glass dilators here at Maze, as well as the Pure Romance set. Good luck as you continue with dilation!

[Sks823]

Hatuey,

Congratulations on the progress you’ve made so far – I know it’s tough but you’ve gotten through so much already. I think what you’re going through is normal!

To reiterate other points made above, it may not even be necessary to insert this size all the way – I hardly used the largest one in the pack that I used from Maze.

Still, be patient – it may happen (it may just take longer than the other times between dilators). Use lots of lube, use deep breathing techniques, and go super slowly. Don’t be frustrated if it doesn’t happen, just try again another day.

Getting a vibrator to use externally (or internally like Helen suggested in a similar thread) may also help – using one externally definitely helped me.

Good luck and don’t give up – you’ve come so far and are doing SUCH a great job!

[S T]

You have to keep dilating…I couldn’t even fit a cotton stick and after level 5 I managed to have sex.
I was diagnosed with primary Vaginismus and have been dilating on/off for years now.
Having said that I still feel pain during sex.
I’m in an off/On relationship with someone who is not small… and no matter how many times I felt I was ready for painless sex after dilation, it seems that I’m not, and find sex painful and uncomfortable. I wonder if Botox will help me have painless sex… Has anyone tried Botox after seeing that there was no progress with dilation during intercourse?