January 11, 2013 at 12:32 am #8782kayleeParticipant
I didn’t realize how daunting it can be to post your story or let alone pour your feelings out. As of now the only person who knows about this horrible problem is my fiancee and the thought of sharing this scares me (hope that makes sense). My heart feels so heavy sometimes and my mind just never stops, this consumes me. It makes me sad and sometimes I think God hates me or why else would he put me through this. All I have ever wanted was to find love and now that I have I cant share it with the one I love. I hope that by me learning about yours stories and successes I see the light and find a will to fight for my happiness.
January 8th marked the 2nd year anniversary since me n my fiancee met and about six months ago we discovered that I had Vaginismus. It has by far been the biggest dissapointment in my life. Even though it was a big let down I kind of new at some level that I had it. The thought of penetration scared the life out of me. Growing up I heard the most absurd comments (I know now how naive I was) about sex, how it hurt, how much they bleed, and how “low” women who had sexual relationships out of wedlock were. Somehow I bought all that and stored it in my mind and now i’m here, 25 years old with a serious problem. While all those that I heard stories from are out there enjoying their sex lives, with kids and family. It’s not fair and I will fight to be a women in every sense of the word. I will fight through my fears,anxiety,nerves,stress and schedule my procedure. Thanx for listening guys, cant wait to hear from all of you and please feel free to share with me your experiences or give me advice Id appreciate it.January 11, 2013 at 2:19 pm #10884AllieParticipant
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I had my procedure on October 23rd and today I am 80 days post procedure. I could not even insert a q-tip and now I am dilating with the dilators pain free! After almost 6 years of marriage my husband and I are enjoying a pain free sex life. I never thought I would be able to experience this.
I am so happy you have a supportive fiancee. Having support from others is very important in overcoming your vaginismus. I remember being so bitter and angry seeing all my friends having babies and hearing them talk about there sex lives. You are right, its not fair. But this is NOT going to be your life forever. Scheduling your procedure is the first step. I promise you it will be the best decision you have ever made. Dr. Pacik and his staff have a heart to help women like us. They are amazing people and I feel like I will always be connected to them. Waking up with the biggest dilator in place with ZERO pain is truly a life changing moment that I will never forget. They work with you using the dilators and you will be amazed at the progress you will make.
If you ever want to email please let me know. I talked to a woman on the phone before my procedure and asked her a million questions and it helped me tremendously! Please know that we are here for you. Keep your head up!
Allie 🙂January 11, 2013 at 3:41 pm #10885NakitalabParticipant
Hi Kaylee, you story sounds so much like my own. And like, Allie, it brought tears to my eyes and my heart just hurts for you because I know exactly what you are feeling. I suffered with Vaginismus for over 32 years and I promise you Dr. Pacik’s procedure works! Being able to have sex with absolutely no pain is…well let’s say I still have to pinch myself during and aftewards because it is so hard to believe. I had my procedure the same day as Allie (and have met a life long friend) and it has been 80 days. It truly is amazing Kaylee and I hope so much that you will call Dr. Pacik. Not only will you be able to conquer Vaginismus, but the relationships and support you will receive from Dr. Pacik and his team as well as from all of us on the Forum are priceless. I had given up all hope of being normal and I just knew I was going to be the one that it didn’t work for. I mean over 32 years is a long time. But it has worked! I am here for you Kaylee! Please stay in contact. You don’t have to go through this alone anymore. We are all here for you!January 12, 2013 at 1:38 am #10892kayleeParticipant
Hi Nakitalab and Allie,
Thank you so much for your replies, I feel the support and now that you guys will be here for me through my journey. It makes me feel less alone with this and its nice to talk to a girl for a change about it. @ Allie, I would love to talk,email,text about the many questions that I have especially after I schedule a date. Im so happy that you shared your story with me, its amazing that you have come such a long way just 80 days post procedure, it really does give me hope. I hope all your stress is gone because you deserve nothing but good things going forward :). @Nakitalab, I also want to say thank you for sharing your story with me and what gave me a smile was knowing that you meet Allie that day and not only did you make a best friend out of it but you both suceeded together. It made me want to move faster with my procedure :). Wow 32 years, your so brave I cant imagine a better example of a real women who deserved to be happy. Your truly amazing!January 12, 2013 at 3:55 pm #10898Heather34Moderator
Hi kaylee. It was wonderful e-mailing and texting together last week. Welcome to the Forum here and thank you for your post. Kayleee, this was one of the best experiences and decisions of our lives. Prior to doing this, we went for our entire relationship and 5 years into our marriage without being able to have intercourse. Just one week post-procedure, on July 4th, we were able to have pain-free intercourse. I would honestly say I had no pain whatsoever. You will be amazed by this concept too, just as my hubby and I were. When I woke up from the procedure with the largest dilator in place, I removed and reinserted it for the first time entirely pain-free. It may sound silly, but this was a big “aha” moment for me and I knew I wasn’t broken and something could be inside of me and not cause excruciating pain. Then, while still under anesthesia and while using the combination of topical lubricant and lidocaine mix, you are very easily able to get used to inserting, removing, and re-inserting the dilators. I promise you this. I went from not even being able to insert a q-tip pre-procedure to being able to insert and remove the largest dilator immediately following the procedure. I should also note that Dr. Pacik, himself, and every single person in the office are absolutely AMAZING and have a very, very special way of making even the most anxious patients more comfortable, calm, and relaxed. He is truly genuine and cares so much and he understands and is knowledgeable about every single aspect of this disorder. I could never adequately describe just how much this procedure has changed our lives kaylee but it has enabled us to just become so, so, so much closer and have a fun sex life added to our marriage.January 13, 2013 at 9:00 am #10895AllieParticipant
Hey Kaylee, Janet messaged you my email. 🙂
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