Help – no idea if i have vaginismus

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    Hi, looking for help and advice – i only found out vaginismus was a thing about 24 hours ago.

    I have always found anything related to down there uncomfortable but i have never been able to work out if it s physical or mental problem. I have had sex… lots of times and it isnt painful but… i have never been able to insert a tampon – it feels impossible and i have only ever had 2 cervical screenings (last one i was sedated).

    I guess i have just always felt like that area of my body is tense as if i am constantly tensing those muscles and sometimes, when i have had intercourse, i have been told it feels like i am closed/need to relax etc… thing is, i usually am relaxed.

    im just so confused and glad to finally find a forum where other people are facing similar issues.

    i think people will read this and think – she’s had sex she cant have it but i really feel like something isnt right and never really has been 🙁


    Hi Sienna2020!

    Thanks so much for sharing your story, and I’m so glad you found our forum.

    Vaginismus affects women in all kinds of different ways. Some aren’t able to have any penetration at all; others can have intercourse (yet simultaneously experience pain, anxiety, involuntary tension or all of the above).

    You’ve come to the right place for information, support and community. I strongly recommend you spend more time reading comments here, delving into our website which has a lot of information RE: vaginismus and perhaps calling us for a free 10-minute consult during which we can answer your specific questions.


    Hi Sienna,

    It definitely sounds like you have some level of vaginismus.

    Every woman is different, and different types of penetration can elicit different responses in your body.

    You are able to have intercourse, which is great, but you still struggle with other types of penetration.

    I would start with a dilation program, the more confident you can become in your body with penetration, the easier it will be to translate that to other types of penetration, like a tampon or gyn exam.

    Seeking a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist could also be very helpful.

    Keep us updated.



    Hi Sienna2020 – welcome to the forums, and thanks for sharing your story! Everyone’s experience is different and you definitely sound like you have some form of vaginismus or even just a lot of tension and anxiety that’s carried in your vaginal muscles. I agree with Melissa – it sounds like you’d benefit from dilation just to relax the muscles and feel more control over penetration and your body. It will help your confidence and strength to be able to get gynecological exams, use tampons, and do whatever else you need to do in the future. Let us know how it goes and if you have any questions along the way! I’ve felt the uncertainty you’re feeling and it sucks, but you can get through it and build a healthier life. Wishing you well!

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