Help and Frustration

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    Hey everyone!
    I am relitvely new to dilating and started because I had to have an operation to widen my vaginal canal since it was so small.
    I’ve made my way up to level 3 of 5, but I’ve been stuck on it for months. I’ve been seeing lately that some women sleep with their dilators in at night, so any of you do that or would recommend it?
    Also, any tips or tricks that may make it more comfortable or exercises to be doing with the dilation?
    Thank you so much for your help



    Welcome to the forum and congrats on getting to level 3 of 5 with your dilators 🙂

    Personally, I’ve never slept with dilators at night or done any other exercises with the dilation (besides moving the dilator side to side & up and down when it’s inside me – and deep breathing exercises) so I’ll let someone else speak on sleeping with dilators.

    As for tips with dilating, I’d say to be consistent and don’t get discouraged even though you’re not moving as quickly through the dilators as you’d like! I went at a slow and steady pace with the dilators and it worked for me.

    Watching TV while dilating also helped me relax a bit and not solely concentrate on the dilating/pain. When I moved up in dilator size and had discomfort, I would do deep breathing exercises and insert it for the first time veeeeeeeeeery slowly, which caused little to no discomfort. Once I got it in (and moved it side-to-side and up and down), it was much easier for me to take it out and re-insert it at a faster pace. Inserting and re-inserting the dilators a few times definitely helps get used to the feeling (in my opinion more useful than just leaving it in for a while).

    Also, I’ve tried a couple different lubricants and I like coconut oil the best. Don’t forget to use as much lubricant as you need!

    LASTLY, you can consider buying a vibrator to use concurrently to help you with some discomfort. 🙂

    Good luck & keep us updated!


    Sks823 gave some excellent advice, especially about moving the dilators around inside you – it’s better to get super comfortable with a smaller one and have that give you the confidence to move gradually to a larger size than to try to rush it and experience greater pain and frustration.

    I HAVE slept with dilators for a few days right after my botox procedure, and in my personal experience there was a lot of discomfort. It wasn’t because of the dilators themselves so much as the fact that I normally sleep on my stomach, and having a dilator in made that impossible so it was really difficult for me to get to sleep. If you already sleep on your side, it might be easier for you if you put a pillow between your legs, but I stopped after a few times because I just wasn’t getting enough sleep. From what I’ve heard the doctors say, though, sleeping with the dilators in is NOT mandatory if they cause too much discomfort – dilating CONSISTENTLY every day is better than dilating for longer periods of time. Oh, and of course, TONS of lube, always. Hope this helps!


    The best dilators to sleep with are ones that are short and can be inserted all the way to the vaginal entrance.

    Crystal delights makes a set of glass dilators that are all short enough to be inserted all the way, and you can also sleep with them.

    The pure romance set of dilators that we use for the procedure only has a few sizes that I feel would be comfortable to sleep with, and since you are looking to progress bigger than size 3, I think you would need to try the glass dilators.

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