going home tomorrow…

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    Today is day 2 post procedure! I slept with purple in last night and this morning worked my way up to the pink and blue! I really didn’t need to dilate again until tonight, but I was nervous about putting purple in again(its been 6 hours) but it slipped right in! Still in awe that I can do this. I fly home tomorrow and I must say I’m pretty anxious and nervous because by the time I leave the hotel and get home it will have been 12 hours with no dilator. I plan to put purple in as soon as I get home. I’m scared it will be hard to get it in. Did anybody else have problems with that?! I think I’m just letting my anxiety get the best of me.

    I am going to be honest and tell you all how sad I am about leaving NH. I know that sounds crazy, but I feel like I have grown attached to Dr. Pacik and his staff. Words cannot describe how AMAZING they all are. THEY ARE MY COMFORT. I literally cried a while last night just thinking about it. My husband actually feels the same way. Dr. Pacik and his wife Janet are amazing people. Jenn and Ellen were great also, along with everyone else who helped me. I will be forever grateful for Dr. Pacik. He’s compassion and willingness to help me and all the other women has made such a huge impact on my life. I feel as though he helped save me.

    I am also so grateful for Vicki and that we were able to start our NEW journey together. She is one strong woman. I know we will keep in touch and be close friends.

    Anyone reading this who is thinking about treatment just know you will be in great hands. If I can do this, you can!


    Hi Allie. I’m so, so incredibly proud of you. Your progress is beyond wonderful and amazing! Please don’t worry about being able to insert the purple dilator once you get home. You WILL be able to do this! I had the same exact fear following my own procedure. I worked all day long (dilator-free) and went home and inserted it right back in. What helped me so much here in the days immediately following the procedure was visualizing myself back in Dr. Pacik’s office and doing it exactly the same way that I had done it there and knowing that it WORKED there and would work again (plus repeating this to myself … lol). But, seriously, it helped and I know you will not have a problem with this at all. :):):)


    Thank you! I will definitely keep doing that!


    Allie I too have mixed feelings about going home tomorrow. I’m excited to return home and share everything with my hubby, sad to leave you and all the awesome love and support we have received from Dr. Pacik and nervous to going so long without dilating. Our flight leaves early in the morning and I don’t think I will be able to dilate before we leave. But I will remember to start out slow and if it doesnt work the first time to take a deep breath and try again. Allie, you have been a rock star with your dilation! I’m so very thankful that Dr. Pacik put us together. I look forward to continuing this journey with you and continuing our new found friendship!

    Dr. Pacik

    Allie, I’m touched by your sweet words. You have conquered the foe and I know you will continue to be victorious! I have no doubt because of how well you dilated and moved right up to the #6 dilator on the second day. Monumental!
    Most women at this stage feel very vulnerable and concerned that they won’t accomplish what they were able to do in the clinic. You learned what you needed to know and you also have learned to “dilate down” if you have any tightness, and then dilate back up. I know you will be able to do it.
    You and Vicki did just great!

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