Finding the time to dilate

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    Hi ladies. Finding the time to dilate post-procedure can seem like a monumental task but is so important to your overall success in overcoming vaginismus. As a way to move beyond the time-consuming feeling of dilating, I would often do another activity while dilating, including preparing and having dinner with the hubby, watching a movie, etc… On other days where there was just no time left in the day to dilate for 2 hours, I would simply sleep overnight with the dilator wearing tight-fitting panties to hold it in place. This also worked well for me. Dr. Pacik has written the following concerning post-procedure dilating: “An important part of my counseling mentions that five minutes is better than no minutes. Every time one dilates this is beneficial even if it is a short period of time. Sleeping with a dilator gives excellent passive stretch and will be a good substitute for the woman who is pressed for time. Then there is always the weekend when one can catch up. Some of my patients dilate ONLY during sleep and not at all during the day. They too do well.” How have you found sleeping with the dilators? Would you recommend it to future patients post-procedure? Are there any additional tips that you have regarding finding the time to dilate post-procedure?


    I found sleeping in the dilaters worked for me because I am a 12 hour shift worker. I certainly couldn’t wear them to work!lol I have had an idea though that may help some people just starting out. Maybe Dr.Pacik could comment on what he thinks of this thought. I was thinking that whilst we are at work on long shifts we could switch to inserting tampons. That way our vagina is still getting used to having something in there and are brains are getting used to inserting things too. They are discrete and easy to carry around and you don’t have to waddle and look like you have a bad back or are 9 months pregnant when you are walking around! Just a thought.

    Another thought is to treat your dilation treatment like a pavlo dogs experiement! Pamper yourself and provide yourself with a treat whilst you are doing your dilation treatment. For example, when you have your dilaters in watch your favourite movie or endulge in a big bar of chocolate or your favourite cake or a glass of red wine! That way you can look forward to sitting with your dilaters in!


    Rachel, I love your idea of pampering yourself while dilating. I usually dilate late in the evening while watching tv in bed, but I like the idea of endulging in a big bar of chocolate and a glass of wine. :0)


    I know this is an old post but I have just seen this and think pampering yourself is a fantastic idea! I will defiantly be trying this , thanks Rachel 🙂

    Dr. Pacik

    Most women fear the dilation process needed to be successful for vaginismus treatment. It brings up the old fears of penetration, the time commitment to do the dilation and the inconvenience. The Pacik glass dilators help somewhat in making the dilation process more convenient by allowing the woman to be more mobile during this time.

    salvarez91 first suggested the idea of being able to go shopping while using the glass dilators and this has caught on for a number of our patients.
    Simply do a search for “glass dilators” on the Forum and a number of posts will appear.

    Rachel brings up a good point of using tampons. I stress during the counseling that a woman recovering from vaginismus needs to work with different forms of penetration to get used to this. I would suggest using a good lube over the plastic sleeve of the tampon for insertion or coating the sleeve with one of the oils such as coconut oil. The tampon needs to be removed that evening. Treating yourself to create a positive association to dilating sounds like a great idea and this could be anything from treats to music, to dilating in a warm bathtub, candles, a glass of wine, etc. My patients have heard it many times: “Five minutes of dilation is better than 0 minutes.” It is normal for the vagina to respond quickly to dilation once treatment for vaginismus has been done. I would love to hear from our other dilating divas tricks they use to make dilating more convenient or more enjoyable.


    Thanks so much.

    I’m so grateful I found this website n forum a few months ago. I started to get a better picture of n read tips from amazingly friendly Dr Pacik and wonderful ladies here.

    When I started consulting sex therapists, my progress was really slow. I gave myself excuse of not dilating. I got stuck as I felt painful progressing from yellow to red.

    Thanks to you guys, I’m now in progress, having put the purple in for three evenings and my hubby tried putting the yellow n red in me one evening.

    I have few more steps to go. I’m confident to overcome vaginimus soon.

    All the best to you all 🙂


    Oh I’ve missed expressing the important point for this post…

    I’m inspired by Dr. Pacik’s saying – 5 mins is better than 0 min. I have started to dilate almost every day, skipping one or two days whwn I’ve no mood but not more than 2 days except menstruation.

    So, stop giving ourselves excuses and get the habit of dilating every day. The more committed we are, the faster we are to recovery.

    P.S. I’m thinking to give tampons a try. I’ll report what I’m up to.

    Thanks again. Have a good weekend 🙂

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