October 31, 2016 at 8:59 pm #19888Heather34Moderator
Hi all. In a prior series of posts and blogs, Rae describes how despite having an extremely difficult time, she never gave up in her journey of overcoming vaginismus. Her story is very inspiring:
Dr. Pacik writes: “When I first evaluated Rae in my office, she was a nervous wreck.
“I was very nervous, shaking, and my muscles were going into spasm, uncontrollably. Before the Botox procedure (in surgery) I had one of my classic subconscious freak-outs where I jumped back on the table in order to not be touched.”
A difficult time in the operating room
The combination of severe anxiety despite sedation and a very tight vaginal canal made it nearly impossible for me to do a finger examination.
“After I had the anesthesia and was lying in surgery I was still freaking out, but everyone in the room was so incredibly nice and understanding (including my husband). My husband told me that the anesthesiologist had to further sedate me in order to proceed so the doctor could insert a finger to find out which muscles were in spasm. My husband and Dr. Pacik told me afterward that even when I was unconscious I was still trying to resist any insertion and trying to pull myself away from them on the table. Funny thing is, I do not remember any of that! To tell you the truth, it kind of made me feel better in a way because that proved to my husband and me that I was not just “faking” it and it wasn’t just an issue that I made up; I wasn’t crazy anymore!!! 🙂 I still laugh about my attempted escape… :)”
Continued difficulties post procedure
“After the procedure I woke-up with the large blue dilator in. I was so happy that it was actually inserted that I did not have any time to freak out. Post procedure it was very difficult for me to dilate (I never ended up being able to get the blue dilator back in the day of surgery after I took it out to use the restroom).
Dr. Pacik said that I had one of the worst cases of primary vaginismus that he had ever seen; he rated me a 5++ LOL. As a matter of fact, he stated that they could create a 6th level for the severity of vaginismus that I had, but I wasn’t discouraged. I was VERY determined. Post procedure, Dr. Pacik said that my muscles were still in spasm (Botox takes a few days, four days I think but it took about 5 or 6 days for the Botox to overcome my spastic muscles).
Working with Ellen, I somehow managed to fit the purple in and eventually the pink on the same day as my surgery with my muscles still clamping. I ended up going home that night and sleeping with the purple dilator in (I took Tylenol PM and slept all the way through the night). BTW, definitely bring the donut pillow. Those New Hampshire roads have a lot of bumps even if your driver is paying attention!”
Day 2 still struggling but able to overcome
Rae was a fighter. She still had difficulty dilating to the large dilators but was determined. Through a flood of tears she would not give up trying, even long after the other patients had left the recovery room.
“I came back the next day and was able to insert the purple and pink dilators with some effort and was never able to insert the blue dilator at the surgi-center due to the Botox not kicking in, but again . . . I was determined. On the third day, after many tears and failed efforts, I got that blue dilator in! :):):) It is all about moving at your own pace and doing what you feel comfortable with.”
“Every day after the third day I was able to insert all the dilators. On the two-week post-procedure date my husband and I were finally able to consummate our marriage (and his penis is bigger than the largest dilator). A day after our first success, we were already moving forward with thrusting!!!! My husband and I continue to progress in our love making. I have even been successful in love making without dilating first!
I think that it is important to continue dilating after achieving intercourse so that your muscles can continue to expand and get used to an object being inserted before the Botox wears off (plus it helps to break that neurological connection with being scared and nervous). I have good days and bad days but I am always able to dilate because I do not give-up.
I swore that I was going to be that one person that the procedure was not going to work for… LOL. If I can do it… So can you!!! Oh, and today was my first time EVER wearing a tampon… So if that has not happened for you yet, you can look forward to that as well… MAGNIFICIENT!!! :):):):):) Let me know how you do…. Best of luck!!!! They will be good to you. No worries!” — Rae
Postscript from Dr. Pacik
This is certainly not the norm. Most patients have a much easier time advancing with the dilators and progressing towards intercourse. This is the type of patient who could have easily struggled with vaginismus for the rest of her life. Yet between her determination and the Botox and dilators making it impossible for the muscles to go into spasm, she was victorious. Success at two weeks is excellent for any treated patient. It was especially monumental for her.”
If you are struggling with vaginismus, please consider giving Maze a call and having the Botox treatment program. It was so, so worth having it for my hubby, little baby son and I!!!!!November 15, 2016 at 9:12 pm #19997Aimee Goldman, RWHNPMember
This is a wonderful story with a very happy ending. Your journey with Vaginismus has been a long one. I am grateful that you shared your experience so that other women who have Vaginismus do not have to suffer in silence.
Congratulations on the birth of your baby son!!December 2, 2016 at 3:15 pm #20253mazemelissaModerator
Just wanted to share a message I received a few days ago from one of my most recent patients who completed the botox procedure (she agreed to let me share her message with the forum):
Hi Melissa!!! Last night, day 8 post-op, we achieved penetration!!!! All my worrying was for nothing. And we got it in about 8 times so I feel invincible!! We found if I am on top that is the least painful, easiest way so far. Still trying to figure out what angles work best and everything but we feel like it is up from here!!! I know it is possible now so I think it won’t be too big of a mind hurdle next time. We are very very happy.
Since the procedure, a HUGE weight has been lifted off both of us and I feel like a new person. My depression and anxiety are next to GONE and I feel like a teenager again.
Thank you so so much for your encouragement and constant support…
These messages make me so happy!March 29, 2017 at 7:43 pm #20743Helen Leff, LCSWModerator
Finally Success!!!! I have been hearing these words so often lately from our post botox patients and it’s music to my ears. You women are amazingly brave and admirable. To continued success!March 29, 2017 at 8:55 pm #20744Aimee Goldman, RWHNPMember
I love hearing these success stories. So inspirational to women who are currently suffering from vaginismus. If you are one of the many women who are suffering from vaginismus keep in mind that there is help for you. Never give up and remain strong-I am optimistic that with the right care you too will be one of the success stories!
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