Extreme OBGYN anxiety. Does it get better?

[SB_815]

Im 26 and had my first ever pelvic exam in an ER, it was so painful and traumatizing. I was referred to an OBGYN and saw her for the first time almost a year ago. She was so nice and understanding but still kind of gently pushed me towards getting my first Pap smear that I had been avoiding. She offered me anxiety meds (that I didn’t take) and switched to the pediatric speculum when it hurt but it was awful. I had to get a transvaginal ultrasound and I cried the whole way home after it. She sent me to Pelvic PT but Ive had to have two ultrasounds since starting PT and the pain isn’t any better. I can tolerate my PTs finger as long as she doesn’t move but that’s it. I have to go for another ultrasound next week and I start crying thinking about it. I also apparently have to have another “annual exam” soon but I am seriously considering not going back. Just thinking about seeing my OBGYN gives me extreme anxiety even though she’s so nice. I’ll probably never have sex at this point so is it reasonable to skip these appointments or is it better to suffer through it even if it feels traumatizing? I don’t know what to do anymore :(.

[Theresa]

I think this is something ALL vaginismus patients are struggling with. When you have vaginismus and you can’t have sex due to this, internal exams will be painful (or even impossible) too. Some gyns offer to do the exam with a smaller speculum, or they let you insert the speculum at your own pace, but IMHO that doesn’t help much. The only thing that could possibly help is therapy. Did you consider that?

[Heather]

Hi SB_815
I am so sorry to hear about that, that sounds awful and horrifying. I highly suggest you ask for a Valium before your next appointment. I cured my vaginismus, but still do not like the invasive appointments and it really really helps a lot. My OBGYN sends 1 pill to my pharmacy and my Husband will drive me. You may also want a support partner there too if you have someone you can trust to be in the room during that, it can be very soothing. Your case of vaginismus sounds like mine. I could get a finger in my vagina, or a very small dilator, but I couldn’t move it and it was horribly painful. Unfortunately, vaginismus is different for all women and some cases can be worse than others but you do not deserve this. You do not deserve to have to deal with vaginismus, or pain during exams, or being unable to experience the joys and pleasures of penetrative sex. And vaginismus is very very curable!! No matter how severe! I think it’s incredible that you are doing PT! But you should not be under this much distress 🙁 You are already taking all the necessary steps and you are so brave in doing so! I have no doubt that you can overcome this! If PT isn’t helping you and it’s causing you fear and pain, I’d give Maze a call. They really are the best team of women to help fight vaginismus! I was trying everything I could to overcome it at home, but just couldn’t get past the pain so I scheduled the BOTOX procedure and it was life changing! They do all the heavy lifting, after your procedure you are able to dilate with much bigger dilators, quite comfortably. Some women become cured within a few weeks, for me it took 38 days. But then I was cured! I go into detail about the whole procedure in this forum under Success Stories and it’s titled The End To My Nightmare 2018, if you’d like to know more. I really hope this helps! Please keep asking your questions, we really want to help 🙂 This isn’t your permanent reality, just an annoying bump in the road. You got this!

[recessivegenequeen]

I just want to second Heather’s fantastic answer – she has it spot-on! Speaking as someone who had severe vaginismus for almost 10 years, I suffered for a long time, and the thing I hope you’ll hear from this SB_815 is that it doesn’t have to be like this. It can be really hard to motivate yourself to get help, but there are other options besides suffering – and it’s valuable for your health to be able to struggle less in gyno exams. I also got the botox treatment at Maze and HIGHLY recommend giving them a call – you can have a free 10-minute phone consultation with them to see if it sounds like something you’d like to pursue. Like Heather said, exams are never exactly FUN, but they do get easier in time after you’ve gotten some vaginismus treatment.

Let us know if you have any other questions – we’re pulling for you!