Do normal women consciously relax their PC muscle during intercourse?

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General Do normal women consciously relax their PC muscle during intercourse?

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  • #9240
    socialjazz
    Participant

    Do normal women consciously relax their PC muscle during intercourse? I am asking this because my wife does not know how to control her PC muscle. Normal people relaxes their PC muscle when urinating and defecating, however, my wife said she uses her stomach muscles for these activities. I am guessing what that means is that she has to use secondary muscles to manipulate her pelvic floor. She does not know how to control her PC muscle at all, in fact, she does not even know where it exists. She also does not have the urge to urinate like most people. Normal people have the common urge in their bladder after a heavy drink but all my wife feels is that “her stomach feels bloated”. This is clearly not normal.

    Currently she is able to dilate with the biggest blue and sleep with pink. The blue needs a lot of lube and a bit for force. My penis is smaller than blue but bigger than pink but is still unable to penetrate during normal sex. I am however able to just penetrate immediately after half an hour dilation with blue, but unable to thrust my penis forward. It just won’t bulge. It feels as if she is using her internal force to push me out, and she mentioned that she can’t breathe when my penis is in.

    I am at a loss, and feels that this is going to be a losing battle against vaginismus. If she is unable to feel her PC muscle at all and constantly spasm her stomach muscle during intercourse, I just don’t see a solution to this unique problem. Surely there is no such thing as botox to the stomach muscle, is there?

    btw, she had her botox injection in Dec 2012. Prior to that, even a Q tip cannot be inserted. After months of dilation, she managed to get from a finger to the blue dilator but progress seems to have stopped for many many months. I live in Asia and is not practically for me to travel to US to see Dr Pacik, but will appreciate any form of advice.

    #13215
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    I would suggest having you and your wife fill out the questionnaire by using the “contact form”. It would seem I could advise you without having to travel to the US. She is almost there, just some fine tuning to make her more comfortable.
    It is not so much “controlling her PC muscle” as it is stretching the muscle (s) in spasm which is usually the entry muscle at the opening called the bulbospongiosum. I hope this helps.

    #13216
    socialjazz
    Participant

    I have filled out the form. Hope to hear from you soon.

    #13217
    23years
    Participant

    Don’t lose hope. Keep supporting your wife like you are doing. Don’t give up on her. I could cry for your wife. You see, when you spend years dealing with a condition, it’s true your mind doesn’t always understand “from where” things are a problem. For example: the burning pain I had was from my muscle inside my vagina but I always thought it was coming from the outside. Until I met Dr Pacik, I didn’t even know I had that muscle or what it was doing.

    Something resonates with me in what you detail. You talk about her stomach muscles contracting. That’s interesting because mine did the same thing after having vaginismus for a long time. I literally had no control over my whole stomach spasming when the muscles spasm occurred inside. Very hard to explain.

    The urination thing you talk about is a new one to me. Without a physical cause, I can tell you the mind is a very powerful thing. Just from going thru this journey of overcoming vaginismus, I can tell you that our minds are thinking one thing, our bodies doing another, and then it’s a vicious cycle. It’s not conscious however or deliberate. As I learned from Dr P, it’s like blinking the eye. You can’t help it. It’s a reflex.

    I do hope you both get some great advice from Dr P that will then assist you both to overcome this hurdle.

    It’s frustrating for the couple as a whole. As a woman, it’s much more so than you can ever fathom. We just all cope differently.

    Have faith and keep fighting the fight!

    #13266
    socialjazz
    Participant
    Quote:
    Quote from Dr. Pacik on August 4, 2014, 05:15
    I would suggest having you and your wife fill out the questionnaire by using the “contact form”. It would seem I could advise you without having to travel to the US. She is almost there, just some fine tuning to make her more comfortable.
    It is not so much “controlling her PC muscle” as it is stretching the muscle (s) in spasm which is usually the entry muscle at the opening called the bulbospongiosum. I hope this helps.

    I emailed a question but there is no reply. So I thought it might help if I ask it here:
    Will it help if a second shot of botox is made at bulbospongiosum?

    #13267
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    Since she made progress from the first Botox treatment, it may be helpful to have another treatment with Botox. It appears that she should be able to tolerate a careful finger exam (now that she is dilating to the large dilators) to determine which muscles are in spasm and to target those muscles with Botox (a second time). This may allow her sufficient relaxation that in combination with the dilators, you may be able to achieve your goals.

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