Deseperate in need for help

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    I’m 26 years old and I’ve been married for couple of years , my vaginismus is absolutely destroying my marriage , i am so desperate to get over this problem but it’s so hard , I really want to have kids but I can’t as my vaginismus is so bad I’ve also bought dialators and try to use them but I feel like there’s a wall not allowing to go further up , I’m so desperate for this to be over , will it ever happen for me I just want a happy married life but it’s killing me inside that I can’t even have sex


    Hi Arinum – I’m so sorry to hear about the problems you’ve been having in your marriage. But please don’t give up! I used to feel like you did but it’s completely possible to go from having vaginismus to having a completely normal sex life.

    Sometimes vaginismus is severe enough that using dilators on your own is impossible. That was my experience and I ended up getting the botox treatment from Maze and they helped me to learn to dilate and then to do it on my own. There are also gynecologists and physical therapists who can either assist with dilating or help you further to relax your muscles to make dilating easier. There are all kinds of solutions, so I hope you’ll find a place to solicit help – your gynecologist is often a good person to start with. And please do ask questions here – so many of us are reluctant experts on this topic, so you’re far from alone. We can help you every step of the way!


    Hey there,

    This reply isn’t very helpful for you, but just wanted to let you know I’m 27 and a newly wed and I feel you! It has been a real struggle. And I often want to give up. Just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone and that there are others who feel the same. I’m getting to the point I’m considering going to a physical therapist who specializes in this, as well as possibly a therapist (grew up in a religious home as well as a rape victim) but it seems like both of these might be necessary for me, as doing it on my own hasn’t really worked so far. Praying for you and rooting for you! <3

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