Avoidance

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  • #19593
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi all. In Dr. BatSheva’s recent Blog about vaginismus, she touches on avoidance that so often accompanies vaginismus. While going through it, I did everything and anything to not deal with it, including working ridiculously long hours. I did not know where to go for treatment and if I would ever overcome. I would Google “vaginismus” at times and belonged to an online yahoo forum for ttcwithvag. This is what eventually led me to discovering Dr. P and having the Botox treatment program and we were able to finally consummate our marriage 2 weeks later. I was also very nervous about how to afford to treatment and the details of it. If you are reading this for the first time, you have made such an awesome step already in overcoming vaginismus and you have found Maze, a treatment group, who understands the condition. If you are afraid about paying for it, as I once was, it doesn’t hurt to call still and they will help you to work through insurance coverage matters. Please, please know that I understand what you are going through with vaginismus and please have hope that you can and will overcome.

    In the past, a forum member also touched on the topic of avoidance and vaginismus.

    She writes:

    “I have always been super avoidant and, as a physician, I could always fill my evenings with more and more patients to see, rather than coming home and facing alone time with my husband that could never be intimate in the way we wanted. We traveled, we worked – all ways of avoiding the reality of our feelings and vaginismus. I think part of avoidance is a fear of “failure” (yet again), so why try another thing? When I first called about Dr. P’s treatment, I was certain that it would be yet another thing – but 2 months later, I am cured and grateful.”

    #19779
    Dr. Pacik
    Participant

    Avoidance and procrastination seem to go hand in hand as seen in the care of many of my patients. We have made significant progress in this field during the past 10 years. Maze is well trained in the treatment of vaginismus and has continued excellent results. They have a strong team that can get you to where you want to be. The decision to get treatment should not be delayed. Too much depends on it.

    #19789
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    I couldn’t agree more Dr. P. I was so anxiety-ridden to have the treatment that I got sick in the car on our drive up and almost had my husband turn the car around. I had convinced myself that I would never be able to do the dilating and nobody could convince me otherwise (despite trying). It took me actually going through it to know and understand that this was entirely possible and something was able to be inside of me for the first time and it did not cause pain. If you, like me, have never been able to insert anything (i.e. tampon, speculum, even a q-tip), know that it is entirely possible post Botox procedure. What helped me was that the Botox numbed the wall of resistance (burning pain) that had always been there and made inserting the dilators and later my husband now entirely possible. When you write, “the decision to get treatment should not be delayed … too much depends on it.” This makes me well up reading it right now and is so, so, so true for us. Without going through with it and taking these important steps, we would not have our little boy right now (again, something neither one of us thought would ever happen). Thank God and thank you Dr. P that this procedure exists and thank you Maze that it continues to exist as an excellent treatment option to help those with even the most severe vaginismus!!!

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