9 years of vaginismus

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    Hi, I’m Li and I’m from the UK.

    I’m 31 and have been suffering with vaginismus now for just over 9 years.

    When I was 21/22, I had a termination which triggered the vaginismus. I want ready to be a parent, it was an incredibly tough decision buttons I have come to terms with.

    I have had years of therapy (EMDR, sensory motor and some other ones I can’t remember the name of), I have tried sensate therapy, I have tried dialators and I have had examinations. I have been with the same partner the whole time.

    The therapy was really helpful with other aspects of my life and really helped me learn alot about myself, but it never helped with the vaginismus. My therapist thought that it is possibly linked to my massive phobia of injections, or something much darker from my childhood that I find hard to believe as I don’t have any recollection of anything bag happening (though my therapist never planted anything in my head, it’s something I came to myself and then struggled to explore).

    I gave up therapy in January of this year and resigned myself to never bring able to have pain free sex again. I don’t receive any kind of pleasure from sex, and I have massive anxieties around it.

    I have recently discovered vagiwave and an starting my first night tonight! I’m to scatter to be hopeful, I am highly doubtful it will be the answer to my prayers.

    I wonder if anyone else here has suffered this long? And how you stay positive?

    It’s nice to know that I’m not alone. It’s difficult suffering from something nobody knows about.


    Hi Li – I’m so sorry to hear about all that you’ve gone through. I can very much identify with your story – I suffered from vaginismus for 10 years before finally receiving effective treatment, so I know the misery it can bring you, both physically and emotionally.

    I am really excited to hear that you are doing vagiwave – more than anything because I don’t want you to give up on yourself. Vaginismus can feel like such a prison but the crazy thing about it is that you can be a few years out of treatment and realize you are indistinguishable from someone who never had it to anyone that meets you. I have been able to have pain-free sex for nearly three years now and honestly it’s hard to remember how vaginismus even felt sometimes – that’s how completely you can be cured of it. Your body and your will are stronger than you realize.

    I notice that you say you quit therapy back in January – I can only speak for myself, but therapy has been a huge tool in different phases of my life for dealing with larger emotional issues, and a HUGE component of vaginismus is the psychological aspect, both in how it presently manifests and in the fact that the years you have dealt with vaginismus have likely given you other insecurities and issues that you’ll need to unpack as you begin treatment. I’m sure quitting therapy was a complex decision and could have been because of a variety of factors, but as you continue this journey you may find that you want the support of therapy again, which can be a valuable asset.

    I don’t know a lot about vagiwave, but just in case it doesn’t end up working for you, I can’t recommend the Maze Clinic more highly. I got the botox procedure there, which treated both the physical and psychological elements of my vaginismus and enabled me to have sex just a few weeks after my procedure.

    No matter what, the fact that you are willing to take steps in your treatment says so much about your future success. It really can be hard to stay positive at times, but the best way I know is to be patient with yourself and to celebrate the little victories, because each step along the path gets you a little bit closer to the life you want. Hard work will get you there and I know you’re capable of doing it. And we’re here to answer questions and support you along the way! Good luck with Vagiwave and let us know how it goes!



    I have tried wagi wave in Uk, it was not helpful just a tiny piece of silicon type material for £85.

    I have tried botox and therapies in the UK too, nothing was too much helpful.(in UK at least)

    the only thing which helped with actual IC (although i am still struggling with positions) was Doctor Pacik No. 06 Glass dilator which I use only 15 minutes with a water-based lubricant and then I am stretched enough and bit confident to do the practical thing.

    I also had vaginismus of more than 10 years but Doctor Pacik Dilators and this website helped me to overcome this to much extent.


    Hi Beanie,

    How is it going with the vagiwave? I hope it is helping. I’m not sure how big it is, but ultimately after using that, you may need to move up to graduated dilators as the increasing width is what helps to stretch those muscles and help you work through that muscle spasm.



    I’d love to hear how things are going with the vagiwave. Additionally, if you have had success with dilators I encourage you to continue using them! Use them for longer periods of time, move them around internally, use a vibrator with them, move them in and out a LOT until that sensation feels more normal – there are lots of different ways to use dilators that can help you overcome your vaginismus.

    Cheers and keep us updated!

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