Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus Post-Procedure Transitioning: Early Intercourse Re: Transitioning: Early Intercourse


My husband and I tried transitioning to sex for the first time (properly!) a few days ago. I know it sounds ridiculously silly, but I’m not sure if we were successful or not!!…

When dilating, the dilators still usually take a couple of minutes (often 5 mins for no7) to insert, but are comfortable once in. So dispite the initial time issue, I felt ready for intercourse.

After I had spent time dilating (with no7!) we tried several different positions, but couldn’t seem to find the right one, but then settled on man on top, but with his legs outside of mine. The slippery lube had made it hard for him to sustain pressure in the right place! This position seemed to work, and what we experienced was pain free, looked like penetration from what we could see (!), and my husband said it did feel like it to him, but I was quite baffled at the lack of all round pressure I felt that I had not felt the twinge of him passing my muscles as I do with the dilators, and as it felt nothing like the tension I felt with no7. However, we enjoyed this experience, we’d never been able to feel quite this close to each other before, and he ejaculated easily without me trying to jump away (which usually happens when we simulate sex), and it felt nice. He was fairly sure we’d just managed it, I wasn’t too sure what to think, but possibly because we’d been trying and never getting there for so long, it would be hard to believe it when it happened, and it was hard to let myself accept it in case I was wrong or it didn’t work again – the emotional roller coaster ride is too much! Also it felt very different to what I expected, but then perhaps I had been stretched well by no7, and if he was a little smaller that would make a big difference. Anyway, we decided to have dinner, and try again afterwards – I just wanted proof! (And to experience it all over again). It was a bit of a blur.

We had dinner with the no7 in place. I then went to the toilet, but afterwards was struggling to put the no7 back in (perhaps I was putting myself under too much pressure?), so instead I put the blue back in for a while. We then tried again, it felt good to start with, but on closer inspection it turned out that he wasn’t really actually inside me, but just pressed up against me, as it were. just much closer than our usual intimate moments. I felt let down, confused, and dispondant…

I wasn’t sure what to make of our first experience, which I wasn’t 100% sure about anyway (I still just don’t know!). Perhaps it was insertion but just not past my entry muscles (which as I said usually put up a bit of a fight)? Perhaps it was full insertion? Or perhaps it just looked like it!?!.. I guess I had been desensitised a little by using the no7 it was hard to know!!

I was about a month post procedure, and I had been putting so much of my time every day into dilating (often half the day!)… surely I should be transitioning by now!?! I also have the time pressure that I go back to work in september and will only have an hour or so available each day instead of the time I have now.

I came away from this experience so confused, let down, and some how grieving for the glimmer of total intimacy we thought we shared but could not cling on to and repeat. It took me a couple of days to get over this!

I’m now on a dilation break due to my period, so I hope to get back to it afresh in a few days, and with renewed positivity towards successfully transitioning.

I’d really love to know about your different transition experiences (successful or not)… and how long it took you to get there post procedure (as ever, it’s easy to feel like you’re the one it’s not going to work for!!).