Re: Single and Dilating

[Molly]

For all women concerned with entertaining the prospect of treatment for Vaginismus absent a parnter, I will introduce myself as a single woman who had the procedure on Monday (11/20/2013). I thought my life changed when I made the decision to have the procedure (sometime about February 2013). I underestimated the effect that the procedure would have on both my psyche and especially the way that I carry myself in the world now that I have been capable of dilation. Vaginismus has kept me from fulfilling sexual relationships with men since I was 16 years old. I did not even know that there was a clinical diagnosis of my condition, and believed that as a woman with broken access to sexual intercourse, I would just not be married or involved with someone for the duration of my life. When I googled my symptoms, I came upon Dr. Pacik’s site and immediately completed the contact me form. Within one week I mailed a 50% deposit for my procedure.

I had real fear about executing the post procedure schedule of after care without a boyfriend, but felt for sure that in order to achieve my goal of physical intimacy with a man I had to get this done, and if they (Dr. Pacik’s practice, single women on the forum) advised me that it was possible, I was not going to let fear of failure keep me from trying. The most difficult part of the process is reflecting on the years of my life where I shut myself off from relationships because I felt damaged.

The dilation is easier that flossing my teeth. I had the procedure Monday (11/18)/2013, and today I had to keep myself from over dilating (I have already done 4 hours, and recommendation from Dr. Pacik is 2 hours a day) due to the ease of the process, and how amazed I am that I am able to fully insert something in an area which was previously SHUT DOWN. The dilation is the easy part. I am two days away from the procedure, and I am my gratitude, enthusiasm and excitement continue to build. There is a momentum that comes from the painless procedure which builds as time elapses.

If you are single, don’t let that inhibit your decision to go through with the procedure. The procedure will get you (by means of granting you access to a fully realized sexual practice with your partner) to the relationship that you desire.

This (dilation as a single woman) is not hard. What is hard is reflecting on the lost opportunities to connect with someone because I owned my condition of Vaginismus as a personal failing. Today I dilated with the #5 glass (the largest I have in my possession is the #6 glass) and I was singing along to music to distract myself from apprehensive fear. I continued to do kegel releases and push until I realized that it was fully inserted. It was so easy I was blisssfully unaware that I had completed the process.