I am sorry to hear of your difficulties. Your discovery of vaginismus is typical of what women go through who have this condition. Firstly do NOT be embarrassed. You have a medical condition with likely spasm of the entry muscle, much like an uncontrolled tic of the eye over which we have no control.
You need to educate yourself by reading the website. I would also suggest reading my book available from Amazon.com in book or Kindle
If you are able to tolerate some penetration, start off using dilators and use them consistently as described in the book. A DVD on correct dilation can be purchased from[url] Shellie. http://crystaldelights.com/shop/dilators/ [/url]
If you do not make progress I would suggest contacting Maze for further information.
Let us know how you are doing.