I want to further echo Dr. Pacik and say you have nothing to be embarrassed about. You have a medical problem, that can be treated, and you are not alone. You are very brave to be reaching out to seek treatment at 19. I want to commend you on taking your first step toward recovery. I would be happy to speak with your further about vaginismus and treatment options.
I think starting with a dilation program is a great idea, and you can find several types of dilators on line. Here are a few types:
Glass dilators: Dr. Pacik mentioned above, also find the dvd.
Pure Romance: This is the set of dilators used for the botox surgery
Syracuse Medical: These dilators are a hard plastic, you cannot sleep with these, only do daily exercises, but are a good and inexpensive option.
Soul Source: they have a wide variety, and you can purchase individually, similar to pure romance, but are expensive.
You can reach me via phone at 914-328-3700.
Please give our center a call and I would be happy to speak with you further about dilation, vaginismus and all treatment options.