Hi DJ. Congrats on having your recent procedure and please, please know we are all here to support you in the journey of overcoming. What you describe is common post-procedure.

One member writes:
“I too find myself tensing up while I’m dilating. It is totally on a subconcious level as I have no problem inserting the dilators and they are comfortable but before I know it my butt is totally clenched. So I breathe, and relax. Then after awhile without me eveng being concious of it I’m back to being clenched again. I think it is like what Dr. Pacik talks about with our minds. Our minds haven’t made the same progress that our bodies have. One thing is for sure….we will have tight butts. LOL”

I found an excellent thread that I hope you find helpful regarding How to Relax while Dilating:


Some tips include:

“Hi Heather, we enjoy watching a nice movie at home while I dilate. Once the movie is finished, we tune up to some soothing music and move one with our plans.”

“Post-procedure, I find that taking a long shower, burning some lavender scented oil (in an oil burner with a tea candle on the bottom), and watching something funny helps me to relax while dilating.”

“I think yoga is a great idea for relaxation prior to dilating and I’d love to hear how you find it. I found a great article that discusses both yoga and meditation DVDs. http://voices.yahoo.com/the-best-gaiam-yoga-meditation-dvds-relaxation-54300.html?cat=5”

“A glass of wine for evening dilation. Music that lifts your soul. Using a vibrator. Dilating in a warm bathtub. Turning off electronics.”

“Staying away from any noise (TV, hubby, boyfriend, telephone…) helped me during the dilating stage. I used to go to my bedroom, close the door and my eyes and I used to imagine that I was just laying in some peaceful place. I was doing this during the last couple of hours of my day, after having dinner and sometimes, a half glass of wine.”

In addition, I wanted to share an excellent Blog regarding further tips for Relaxing While Dilating:


I hope this helps. Sending you hugs and support.