Thanks so much for posting this, Nakitalab! This is something that has been SO painful and hard for me through our journey with vaginismus — watching all of my friends and family become pregnant and feeling like I would never have the opportunity. It is especially hard for me the closer the person is to me. Both of my husband’s sisters are pregnant right now, my cousin is pregnant with twins and two of my dearest friends are also pregnant. It is a hard place to be when you want to feel so happy for someone but you just feel so heartbroken and sad for yourself. I agree, that is is OK to feel the way we feel. We all need to learn to allow ourselves to feel our feelings, they are valid! I have started distancing myself (for a short amount of time) from the women in my life who are pregnant. I don’t want to suck the joy from their pregnancies, but I know for myself, I need time to adjust to it and cry it out for myself.
You definitely aren’t alone, Katie! I think this is a very common thing for women suffering with vaginismus.