Hi Clara, I would encourage you to give our center a call for a free 10 minute phone consultation. 914-328-3700. You will speak with a clinician, and she will be able to give you some advise as to where to start for treatment and evaluation. Another idea is to considering finding a pelvic floor physical therapist in your area. They can treat vaginismus, and I find usually know so much more about vaginismus than most gynecologists. They also work with dilators, which is always a component to successful vaginismus treatment. If you want to try dilation on your own, I would recommend pure romance set of dilators, or the dilators from Syracuse Medical Devices.
Pure Romance:

Syracuse Medical: