Wow. I’m sorry that your anxiety is so overwhelming for you right now but I want to tell you I understand. You are having very normal reactions and feelings to this procedure. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised. Somehow our brains program themselves to believe pain is coming from a certain place. Bear with me here. You see I too had been told for 23 years I had Vulvodynia. Perhaps it was referred pain from the vaginismus. Pain is a vicious cycle so if you can break that cycle you can break the brains response to it. I get this now from a very personal and real perspective.

I had my procedure in June. This year. After 23 years. I can tell you 100% proof positive that my issues were inside my vagina with the muscles! The burning pain I felt and the spasm I eventually learned I had, was all INSIDE. Weed through this like peeling layers off an onion for yourself okay? Peel away the vaginismus and see if the layer of Vulvodynia comes off automatically. It will be interesting to hear your story.

Know that you will have about a week of soreness (maybe less) just from the procedure but after what you have been through, this will be a piece of cake. Know that it won’t last. And slowly you will begin your journey of recovery. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. It’s a roller coaster ride. Don’t let others tell you how you should feel or what you should feel. Each individual journey is just that —- individual. And most who have the strongest opinions about US have never walked a DAY or a MINUTE in our shoes — and they couldn’t.

You are strong. You are deserving. Your life is meaningful and you have a right to feel “normal” whatever that means to you.

Keeping you in my thoughts! Be brave. You are on a mission.

23 years