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    I am having my procedure in less than two weeks. I am terrified. I can’t sleep at night anymore and I have been having anxiety attacks regularly. I feel like the one person it won’t work on. I”m scared I will get pregnant, the botox will wear off and I will be back to square 1. I have daily pain from vulvodynia Can this surgery help me overcome that? My doctor back home recommended the procedure for vulvodynia, and I am worried she has made a mistake. That my vaginismus will be helped but I will still have daily pain. I’m scared of investing so much time and money and having it fail again. I”m scared what post procedure will be like. Will I still be uncomfortable? Will I feel self conscious? Will it feel like after the dentist numbs your cheeks and you have no muscle control? Will vaginal dryness be worse? Please, any advice. It’s one in the morning here in Utah and all I want to do is sleep but I have so much fear.


    Hi Kate. Please, please know that I am here for you. I just know everything is going to go so, so well for you. I cannot say enough good things about Dr. Pacik, Janet Pacik, Ellen, and all of the staff. They are so incredibly knowledgeable about each of our individual journeys and their level of compassion and caring is like no other. I personally did not have vulvodynia but I have read from other Forum members that this procedure has helped this in addition to vaginismus. I’ve also read in the Cosmo article that it did help a woman who had vulvodynia. Post-procedure, I had muscle control and did not experience vaginal dryness. What helped me is the entrance that always formed the wall of resistance was no longer there with the blocked feeling which allowed me to insert the dilators and, with dilating, I slowly stretched the muscles to the point that intercourse was doable and then enjoyable. Post-procedure, I used the Lidocaine/Surgi-lube combination which kept me well lubricated and I experienced no dryness. I then transitioned to another lubricant and then no lubricant and have not experienced dryness. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. I’m sending you one from Boston to Utah. Please, please know I am here for you and I just know things will go so well for you!!!


    Hi Kate. I also wanted to share an excellent Blog with you that I hope helps so much:


    Sending you hugs and positive thoughts!!!


    Wow. I’m sorry that your anxiety is so overwhelming for you right now but I want to tell you I understand. You are having very normal reactions and feelings to this procedure. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised. Somehow our brains program themselves to believe pain is coming from a certain place. Bear with me here. You see I too had been told for 23 years I had Vulvodynia. Perhaps it was referred pain from the vaginismus. Pain is a vicious cycle so if you can break that cycle you can break the brains response to it. I get this now from a very personal and real perspective.

    I had my procedure in June. This year. After 23 years. I can tell you 100% proof positive that my issues were inside my vagina with the muscles! The burning pain I felt and the spasm I eventually learned I had, was all INSIDE. Weed through this like peeling layers off an onion for yourself okay? Peel away the vaginismus and see if the layer of Vulvodynia comes off automatically. It will be interesting to hear your story.

    Know that you will have about a week of soreness (maybe less) just from the procedure but after what you have been through, this will be a piece of cake. Know that it won’t last. And slowly you will begin your journey of recovery. Allow yourself to feel your feelings. It’s a roller coaster ride. Don’t let others tell you how you should feel or what you should feel. Each individual journey is just that —- individual. And most who have the strongest opinions about US have never walked a DAY or a MINUTE in our shoes — and they couldn’t.

    You are strong. You are deserving. Your life is meaningful and you have a right to feel “normal” whatever that means to you.

    Keeping you in my thoughts! Be brave. You are on a mission.

    23 years


    Hi Kate. I wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and just know that everything is going to go so well for you on Monday. Please know that you are in amazing care with Dr. Pacik, Janet Pacik, Ellen and all of the staff. They care so much and will be there for you. Moreover, they all understand just so, so much about vaginismus. While having vaginismus, I used to get so nervous prior to ob/gyn appointments, I would cry, shake, feel like passing out, and so many more physical symptoms of anxiety. It was horrible. I did feel this prior to my procedure but did not have the normal experience as I had with other doctors. Instead, the staff and Dr. Pacik recognized this and I was immediately given IV Verced and received my procedure shortly thereafter. This helped to significantly reduce my anxiety and I then recall waking up and the procedure was over with. As Dr. P wrote in one of his great posts, then you are on the other side of vaginismus. Please know that no matter how nervous you are, you WILL get through this with their help and have a very positive experience while in NH. Sending you tons of support and big hugs today!!!

    Dr. Pacik

    Kate: You are scheduled as the first patient for Oct. 13. The staff is fully aware of your fears and are prepared to sedate you prior to your treatment. As so many patients and Forum members have commented, it not nearly as terrifying as you might imagine. Be aware of your heightened energy in a positive way knowing that you will overcome your vaginismus. We look forward to helping you through this.

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