Reply To: Taking that first step

[recessivegenequeen]

AMT09 – thank you SO MUCH for sharing your story! It was actually sort of surreal to read your story because it so closely resembles my own experience. I also learned about these forums years before I ever sought vaginismus treatment – I just wasn’t ready yet to do the work that ended up being required. It took me about 4 more years before a partner made something of an ultimatum that I needed to do something to seek treatment or he didn’t think we could be together long term.

Like you described, that first call to Maze was one of the hardest parts of the whole process and really the first turning point in a long journey of pain, shame, and negative experiences with doctors and the medical field related to my vaginismus. Calling the Maze Clinic and finding understanding and knowledgeable professionals at the other end of the line helped give me the strength to take each necessary step forward. I was also like you in that I had absolutely zero success with dilating on its own and had to turn to the botox treatment, but the results I saw were fast and incredible. After just 20 days of dilating I was able to have intercourse for the first time with my partner – something that had seemed impossible after nearly 10 years of suffering and uncertainty.

You should be so proud of yourself for all the work you’ve put in and progress you’ve made toward building a fulfilling and shame-free sex life. I hope that it feels like one of the greatest decisions you’ve ever made – I think you will be so glad that you took the plunge and took back control. I also hope you remember this experience throughout your life as a reminder of the power that resides in your body and the change you can enact in yourself. Best of luck as you continue and let us know if you need anything at all!