Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Vaginismus General How hard should I try? Reply To: How hard should I try?


Hi Maine,

This is a great question! For some women, their hymen can be thicker or tougher to break through. So if your gynecologist noted that your hymen is still intact, that for sure could be a barrier for easier penetration. I’d recommend that rather than just have your boyfriend force his way through , that you purchase a set of dilators and some topical lidocaine. You can slowly work your way through the dilators, and when you get to the larger sizes, where the hymen would most likely tear, you can do it with less pain, using the numbing of the lidocaine and the dilators.

You can also have a procedure to remove or snip the hymen if your gynecologist would be open to that.

But I’d start with dilators. Having your boyfriend just force himself inside you harder, would cause even more pain and I never think that’s a good option.