I do think dilation would help. Repeated controlled penetration should help you get more comfortable.
I also think maybe physical therapy as well. Working with a trusted physical therapist to slowly train your body to allow someone else to insert something in your vagina for you.
Routine screening exams are important. The pap is a screening for cervical cancer, which you should have done every 3 years if results are normal.
You can have a pelvic exam under anesthesia if there is a concern for a medical issue and you can’t do the exam awake.