Reply To: Sexual excitement is good, orgasms are not during dilation process

[moonismine]

My sexologist did mention to separate masturbation (includes climax) from my dilation exercises. However, today I found a cool trick of using my clitoral vibrator to distract my muscles in the region. I have always only been able to insert 1-1.5 fingers diameter into my vaginal opening but it has been months since I last did it. I skipped my daily dilation exercises from frustration and fear of dilation. However, I was done feeling sorry for myself so I tried with the distraction today. Surprisingly, I managed to push in 3 fingers fully in. Whenever I felt discomfort, I shifted my position or just counted down from 15 seconds while taking deep breaths. Any burning pain would fade to an ignorable throb at 15-20 sec point mark. Inspired by such progress, I decided to try and mimic “thrusting” movements and managed to climax. After that, I calmed myself down and I kept putting in more fingers till I had all 5 fingers in (not palm/ whole hand) – took me 45 mins of vibration and countdowns. From there, I felt brave and familiar enough of my vaginal opening & inner space limit to insert the 2nd largest dilator in. (which is the average Asian penis girth)

I think that was a bad movement because my dilators are plastic and not flexible at all. I THINK I MAY HAVE BUMPED INTO THE “BACK WALL” shifting around and started bleeding.

Now, I’m super freaked out and have abandoned everything and cleaned up the mess. I’ve washed up, put on a pad and popped a painkiller pill. I’m going to call my sexologist first thing in the morning tmr. I’M SO SCARED I MESSED UP REAL BAD THIS TIME ROUND. ) :