Hi ds20030 – thanks so much for both of these great questions!
First of all, YES, this is very normal and in fact is how the majority of women experience intercourse! About 75% of women cannot reach orgasm from penetration alone, so you are in plenty of company. Some women love penetration but for most other women, it just… doesn’t do that much for them. The clitoris is really where most of the fun nerve endings are concentrated, so if intercourse ins’t involving clitoral stimulation, odds are you just won’t get there.
As to your second question, this is also pretty normal I think (at least for me) and especially if you have a partner with a larger penis. It’s sort of like if you just stop working out for a couple of weeks and then try to run three miles – you’re probably going to feel a bit sore and out of practice! The vagina is much the same. I don’t dilate anymore but if I have sex less than once or twice a week, it hurts a bit more next time me and my partner DO have intercourse, or it’s just harder to get his penis in. You likely will need to keep up a slightly more frequent intercourse schedule than every 2 weeks if you don’t want to deal with that, but if that’s not feasible then dilation is a fine substitute to get ready.