SL0610, thanks for sharing your experience with us. Medical procedures like your ultrasound can be so hard when experiencing vaginismus. I hear you and hope you find the support that you need.
I think it’s really important to be clear with your OBGYN about what’s happening for you, including your anxiety around the ultrasound and that you aren’t comfortable with the idea of the birth control ring. I have also felt a lot of shame in some of my early conversations with medical providers, but eventually came to realize that the more direct and assertive (and sometimes vulnerable) I could be, the more I could get my needs met.
This is a hard journey and I hope you’re being kind to yourself <3