Reply To: Feeling hopeless post botox – could use some advice.

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi StaciMyer – don’t give up hope! I totally get how you’re feeling, but like you’ve seen on the forums, botox is an incredible tool to enable progress – but it’s not a magic overnight solution. What it does is ENABLE you to dilate when you might not have been able to before (which was absolutely the case with me when I got my botox treatment at Maze). Some people are able to make progress only through dilation, but for others, the botox makes it possible where it wasn’t even an option to insert ANYTHING before.

I think for me what was such a big breakthrough (and what I hope you will keep front of mind) was waking up from the anesthesia with the largest dilator inserted. What it showed me was that my vagina was physically able to be penetrated by large objects, even if I hadn’t done it before. Knowing it was POSSIBLE was what gave me hope – I was physically able, I just had to work up to being able to do it psychologically (and become accustomed to penetration while also stretching out my muscles).

What’s crucial with dilation is consistency – as Melissa told me after I first got botox, what matters most is dilating every day if possible, even if it’s for just a few minutes. Your muscles are still stretching and getting used to something being inside, so giving them that daily reinforcement makes a big difference. Sleeping with the dilators in is also great advice, as is making sure you’re getting truly adept at using a size before moving up to the next one – that means taking it out and putting it back in a few times, moving it around inside from side to side, etc. Doing what you can for yourself to make dilation a habit (even if it’s a tedious one) is good

It can be really tempting to hope that your vaginismus goes away immediately after getting botox (for many of us, after years of suffering and confusion), but your journey to healing will take how long it takes and you can’t rush your recovery. Some people take weeks to transition to intercourse after the procedure and others take months, but your path is your path, and you will get there in the end with consistent dilating and methods like physical therapy. Don’t lose hope – we know you can do it! Let us know how it goes as you change up your habits!