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Hi LonelyTears!
Congratulations on getting that dilator inside!! That’s HUGE!! I suffered with vaginismus for 10 years before I got the BOTOX treatment and was cured!

The muscle tightness. Yes, it does go away! With more and more dilating, and as you get more comfortable, it does go away! That wall will eventually stop popping up on you. There are a few tips for that too. While you’re dilating, upon insertion, breathe in deep and fill your stomach with air instead of your lungs. This opens your diaphragm and makes more room for penetration. You can also Google yoga stretches that loosen up the pelvic floor. I would do some good, deep stretches before I would dilate and I really believe it helped! You can also use your finger or a tiny dilator to rotate clock wise, in the very opening of your vagina. This is an inner vaginal massage that my PT taught me and it’s supposed to relax those muscles.

Medical procedures. I am cured of my vaginismus, however I have a crippling fear of speculums. Hopefully one day I’ll get over it, but my gynecologist is very accommodating and every time I need a vaginal exam, she writes me a prescription for 1 Valium. My muscles aren’t even able to tighten if they wanted to and this makes my appointments a breeze! But just like what Melissa said too, bring your dilators, express your needs, if they are professionals, they’ll accommodate you. It’s good bedside manner! I know they even make Valium vaginal deposits. There is also lube infused with CBD and the companies promote it saying that it is really helpful for vaginismus. There are many different brands that infuse CBD into their lube.

Pleasure. Yes you will know all about the Pleasure you hear about! With every case it’s different. It took me quite a few months after I was cured, to start feeling good in my vagina and not just from clitoral stimulation. Probably because my brain was still anxious and scared around sex, therefore making it hard to enjoy. But yes it will come! And the day will come when there’s no need to prep as well! After maybe 7 months being cured I started to test my boundaries and stop dilating and I can’t remember the last time I even dilated. Eventually there is no need. Unless of course, you aren’t having regular sex, than it is important to dilate. To keep things open and stretched and healthy so there isn’t any set backs.

You already have come so far, you definitely can do this. And I highly recommend a physical therapist as well!