Reply To: New here. Starting the process…

[recessivegenequeen]

Hi Naomi, and welcome to the forums! I’m so sorry to hear about all the difficulty with pain and with the feelings of vaginismus, but I’m glad you found your way to us! There are so many women who have been in your position who have gone on to pain-free intercourse and have babies, even while still working through vaginismus, so your path has been walked ahead of you by many other people who can tell you it’s possible! Everything you’re feeling is completely valid and normal, so take heart in your own bravery.

I think you CAN start with a finger but it depends on your personal comfort level. I personally struggled to insert a finger because for whatever reason it really unnerved and repulsed me at first to have to insert my own finger, so having dilators was easier in a way because it was an external object. It’s whatever feels most natural to you, and small dilators can come even smaller than your finger if it’s easier for you to start that way!

Also, in terms of getting pregnant, I have seen someone else on the forums mention the Mosie Baby Syringe as something that’s worked for them while trying to get pregnant while also dealing with Vaginismus. It looks small and I think would be possible to insert if you’ve gotten used to working with small dilators, so you might want to look into it:
https://mosiebaby.com/