Reply To: So many years of aversion, how to change?

[jonclose]

Hi Maryro – first of all, let me congratulate you on getting a diagnosis, treatment and now being ready to try intercourse. That is a big achievement, and you should be proud! First intercourse after prolonged periods of abstinence can be intimidating, but there are a few tips that we usually give to our patients:
1) Dilate prior to intercourse “8 ball pool“, ideally with a dilator that is one size larger than your partner. That will help ensure your muscles are relaxed and ready for prime time!
2) Lube lube lube. You can’t use too much.
3) Your partner is probably scared to hurt you, and it is not uncommon for the man to lose his erection, or have trouble getting one (bc he is anxious, not because you are doing anything wrong!). Depending on age and circumstance, we sometimes recommend he consider a drug for ED such as sildenafil to help prevent this. This is a conversation he can have with doctor prior to first intercourse.
4) The first time might feel “mechanical” or “technical”. This is normal as you get used to intercourse again. And it will get better with time and practice!

I hope that helps, Maryro. Keep us posted on how it goes!

Jackie Giannelli FNP

Great advice, Jackie! Thanks so much!