Hi juliamc – I’m so sorry to hear about the pain you’ve experienced, and I know how frustrating it must be to feel like you had an answer and a solution that turned out to just be one step on the road to your healing. You are so right in that someday this can all just be a memory – that’s how it is for me. I suffered from vaginismus for 10 years before getting the botox treatment at Maze and then being able to dilate my way to pain-free intercourse, and it is still crazy to me, four years later, that vaginismus doesn’t touch my sexual life anymore.
It’s clear to me that you are a strong person because you’ve made it this far, so I know you will be able to handle whatever comes your way. I understand why dilation is scary, but like you pointed out, you’ve had some success inserting a finger before, and dilation is very specifically designed and envisioned so that you can make progress gradually and at a speed and comfort level that works for YOU. I believe you can have the life you want and it’s clear you have a supportive partner by your side, which can be such a resource when going through treatment. I know you will be able to do this when you are ready, so I hope you will trust yourself with your own healing whenever the time is right. We’re here to answer your questions whenever you want so please do ask if you need anything at all. We are pulling for you and know you can do this!