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Hi Vane – wanted to check in and see how things are going for you and if you’ve tried dilating again. Like Helen said, it’s very much about the gradual process of getting more comfortable with having something penetrate you and stretching the muscles to gradually accommodate larger and larger things, so a degree of discomfort is actually a necessary part of the process!

It can take time as well to re-learn your emotional and psychological connection to intercourse and penetration. Having pain around penetration for so long means that you have to rebuild trust with your own body, and that takes time and intentional focus.

Let us know if any of this helps or what other kinds of problems you’re facing. I promise it doesn’t always have to be like this and that a happier sex life is possible!