What do you do when the largest dilator fits and you still are unable to achieve intercourse due to anxiety?

Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Daily Questions About Vaginismus What do you do when the largest dilator fits and you still are unable to achieve intercourse due to anxiety?

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  • #8483
    mmHeather34
    Moderator

    Hi ladies. For anyone who may be able to use all of the dilators successfully but who may still be unable to achieve intercourse due to anxiety, I have the following suggestions that I think may really help:

    1) Dilate, Dilate, Dilate prior to intercourse (Prior to our first time, I dilated with Big Blue for close to 2 hours). If your hubby/partner is larger than Big Blue, I would definitely suggest trying the Candy Stick. It is a little bit larger than Big Blue and the vibrating will work wonders to relax you. (I wrote a prior post about it earlier tonight at: http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=130)

    2) I also think that for patients who may be ‘stuck’ in making the transition, it may be helpful to use a little bit of the Lidocaine/Surgilube mixture. This may work wonders for the first time and will help to retrain your brain into no longer fearing pain with intercourse. I believe it is very similar to waking up with the dilator already in place and then KNOWING that it could be re-inserted again pain-free. You can ease into regular intercourse without this underlying fear once you have first experienced it and KNOW that it is pain-free. Then, once it has happened, you can easily return to regular lubes.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts, suggestions, tips, and ideas here ladies.

    #9906
    Alyx
    Participant

    I think this is a great thread, as I’m curently experienceing this problem. So I would love to see more tips and ideas too if anyone has any…

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