What do you do when the largest dilator fits and you still are unable to achieve intercourse due to anxiety?

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Home Forums Vaginismus Support Group Daily Questions About Vaginismus What do you do when the largest dilator fits and you still are unable to achieve intercourse due to anxiety?

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  • #8483
    Heather34
    Participant

    Hi ladies. For anyone who may be able to use all of the dilators successfully but who may still be unable to achieve intercourse due to anxiety, I have the following suggestions that I think may really help:

    1) Dilate, Dilate, Dilate prior to intercourse (Prior to our first time, I dilated with Big Blue for close to 2 hours). If your hubby/partner is larger than Big Blue, I would definitely suggest trying the Candy Stick. It is a little bit larger than Big Blue and the vibrating will work wonders to relax you. (I wrote a prior post about it earlier tonight at: http://www.vaginismusmd.com/vaginismus-md-forum/?mingleforumaction=viewtopic&t=130)

    2) I also think that for patients who may be ‘stuck’ in making the transition, it may be helpful to use a little bit of the Lidocaine/Surgilube mixture. This may work wonders for the first time and will help to retrain your brain into no longer fearing pain with intercourse. I believe it is very similar to waking up with the dilator already in place and then KNOWING that it could be re-inserted again pain-free. You can ease into regular intercourse without this underlying fear once you have first experienced it and KNOW that it is pain-free. Then, once it has happened, you can easily return to regular lubes.

    I’d love to hear your thoughts, suggestions, tips, and ideas here ladies.

    #9906
    Alyx
    Participant

    I think this is a great thread, as I’m curently experienceing this problem. So I would love to see more tips and ideas too if anyone has any…

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