Treating vaginismus when basic healthcare is non-existent..

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    What do you do when you have vaginismus and you live in a country where basic healthcare is almost non-existent and/or a luxury product?

    I was 17 when I first had sex with my husband. And although I was prepared it could hurt (my friends and mother warned me about that), I never expected it to hurt THAT much. My husband had to force his way in, and it felt as if his penis turned into a knife. The pain lasted for years and each and every time I had sex, it thought I was going to faint because it hurt that much. Of course I knew something was wrong with me, but in my community sex is not an easy subject to talk about and you only go to the doctor when you’re really sick. Certainly not for a “small” issue like this… might be hard to understand for others but that’s the way it works in poor countries.

    I moved to another town when I turned 22 and I got to learn someone who had the same symptoms as me. She was ‘officially’ diagnosed by a doctor and she was even aware about the dilation therapy they use in other countries. But it’s not easy – let’s just say impossible – to buy a dilator set over here.

    My friend inspired me to start group therapy sessions with other women who suspect they have vaginismus. We’re no doctors so we only share tips and experiences with other people, but for most of us that is already a giant step. So this is what I have been doing (as a volunteer) for over 2 years now and I must say your forum is a good resource with lots of interesting information.

    My question to you guys is this. Knowing dilators are unavailable and pelvic floor therapists are non existent, would it be possible to teach women how to dilate on their own, using their fingers for instance?


    Thank you so much for the work you are doing.
    I do think it is possible to teach women how to do some stretching exercises with their own fingers.
    Or asking a partner use their fingers to help with stretching can also be useful.
    Patients or partner would insert their fingers, and put pressure all around the opening of the vagina, massaging the entrance to soften the muscles.
    This might sound really weird…but maybe you can find other objects that are similar in shape to dilators and try them.


    Melvee, I’m really touched by your story and I love how you’re trying to help fellow vaginismus patients!
    What I was wondering… when there is really no way to get proper medical help for vaginismus… could it be an option to not only teach women how they can stretch using their fingers, but also perform the stretching yourself ON other women? With their consent of course! I’m saying this cause using your own fingers isn’t that easy and often requires unconfortable positions in bed (at least for me).


    Melvee, I’m glad that you’re working to support other women in your area as they struggle with the same issue you’re dealing with! Maybe there are objects similar to dilators you can find in addition to the fingers idea suggested. Let us know if you have other questions about how we could help!


    Dear Melvee!
    I cannot praise you enough for what you are doing for the Vaginismus community in your area. I myself was in a similar situation like you and could not buy dilators because they were not available in my country. I was very desperate to solve my condition and so I first started dilation with my finger and later on used other objects that were similar to dilators in shape and size like the first one I used was a long round mascara bottle. This may sound weird but this was the only way I could dilate myself. Most of the dilators that I used were used up cosmetics bottles because they were all round and smooth. There is no problem in it but just remember to wash them before and after every use.

    Hope this helps and you and other women in your area get treated.

    P. S. I still have all my so-called dilators with me because they remind me of strength and courage in tough times.

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