Therapy Post Procedure

[Heather34]

Coffee that is awesome that you were able to have a pap smear. That is huge! Just hearing those words makes my legs clamp shut. Since I have been so successful with dilating I know that a speculum will fit but mentally it freaks me out. I have a long way to go to get my mind caught up to the success of my vagina. I’m so excited for you. As well having trust in your husband to insert his fingers is amazing. You are doing great!!!

[coffee]

I am now attending Physical Therapy twice a week, I must say it has helped me alot, working with the muscles and stretching with the dilators. I go for my pap smear Monday December 10, 2012. I also attend counseling and i am on medicines, although i have not tried intercourse yet, i plan to try this month. I do feel I am less anxious and not as nervous when i go to physical therapy. I am working on trying to insert the smallest ones myself the dilators, my husband has been inserting my dilators for me every night, so my goal is to try inserting the small ones then work my way up to the largest ones, which my husband inserts the largest ones for me. I do feel down at times when i see other women progressing along and having intercourse, mentally I feel I am not totally there yet, I would like like for my husband and me to have some intimate time together other than dilating that’s all we have been doing, so that plays somewhat of and issue i believe. I want to continue to think positive, and continue to make progress, I commend you women for your progress i hoped to be where you are one day, I realize they everyone goes at a different pace. 🙂

[Heather34]

Hi coffee. You wrote “I go for my pap smear Monday December 10, 2012.” I know you are going to do so well with this and we are all here to support you. What helped me so much prior to my first ob/gyn exam post-procedure was to dilate for a while in advance of the exam. Then, I actually arrived at the exam with the dilator in place and the doc gently removed it and then re-inserted the much, much smaller sized speculum. It didn’t hurt at all as I was already stretched out from dilating and didn’t feel unusual to me or really any different than the way the dilators felt. You will do great and I will be thinking of you and praying for you.

You also wrote “I do feel down at times when i see other women progressing along and having intercourse.”

In an earlier post, I wrote:

“One of Dr. P’s treated patients shared her tremendous success story and also wrote ‘I had my moments of worry, doubt and self-blame – but just remember that your progress is unique to you and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to follow a timeline.’ I think this statement is so, so important. It is often so easy to compare ourselves to others and I really think that it’s so important to be self-aware when you find yourself doing this and to then remind yourself of just how much you have accomplished thus far and, again, how your progress with all the steps (i.e. dilating, transitioning to intercourse, becoming pregnant, etc.) truly is unique to you.”

Dr. Pacik replied:

“It is so important to be aware of this concept. When three patients are treated the same day, we start with different degrees of severity of the vaginismus and different levels of anxiety. Each then follows along a different course. Some sail through with the large dilators, others struggle. Some achieve early intercourse others take longer. This is all emphasized during the counseling sessions so no one feels left behind. It is the final victory of overcoming lifelong vaginismus that counts. This is an important area for treated patients to post so others can understand the varied progress women make after treatment. It is all part of the big picture of the community supporting one another, so that here too, no one feels like a “freak” and no one ever feels the torment of feeling isolated.”

I am incredibly proud of everything that you have accomplished and the progress you make each and every day coffee and this makes me smile so much as I am so, so happy for you! I believe in you 100% and we are all here to support you!!!

[coffee]

I had my Pap smear and I was successful. It took me 30 min, to gain my composure but I did it. I didn’t put my legs in the stirrups, I did what I normally do in physical therapy and that helped a lot. I went with num 5 already inserted, as soon as my gyn doctor came in I did my kegelskeels and she inserted the smallest speculum. I was very nervous and very anxious but I did it.

[coffee]

I also have started to let my husband insert his finger to massage my vaginal muscles. Huge step for me. Haven’t tried intercourse yet but I will get there. Thanks to doctor pacik and his marvoulous staff.

[tigerkitty]

Wow, congratulations. I couldn’t ever imagine having a pap smear or having my partner insert his finger at this point – I can only hope to achieve that one day! Well done on taking such a huge step in your recovery. 🙂

May I ask how the kegels helped during your pap smear? Do they help take away the discomfort? I do them sometimes but I’m still rather shaky on how exactly they help.

[coffee]

they help with the inserting and releasing the dilator, i still have a long way to go. I am still nervous and anxious as well. :), It took me awhile to get where i am at this point.

[Heather34]

Amazing job coffee with your successful Pap Smear. This is such an important step and I am super proud of you. Also, congrats on your progress with your husband inserting his finger to massage the vaginal muscles. This too is so huge and also builds wonderful trust! Keep up the GREAT WORK!!!!!!

[Nakitalab]

Coffee that is awesome that you were able to have a pap smear. That is huge! Just hearing those words makes my legs clamp shut. Since I have been so successful with dilating I know that a speculum will fit but mentally it freaks me out. I have a long way to go to get my mind caught up to the success of my vagina. I’m so excited for you. As well having trust in your husband to insert his fingers is amazing. You are doing great!!!

[coffee]

Thank you. I have along way to go. The lady I had the procedure with has had pain free sex. So I haven’t reach that point yet. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to keep your composure when we have sex. I thought about buying a book on deep breathing techniques. I feel mentally I have not caught up where I am physically. I feel I am learning much more from my physical therapist than my mental therapist. Think I am just gonna continue my physical therapy.

[Heather34]

Hi Nakitalab. You wrote “Since I have been so successful with dilating, I know that a speculum will fit but mentally it still freaks me out.” I felt the exact same way prior to my first ob/gyn exam post-procedure. I knew that I had been very successful with using all of the varying sized dilators but I had so many prior bad experiences with these exams, that I still was terrified. To beat this, I dilated in advance of my exam for almost 2 hours with the largest blue dilator (pure romance). I then wore the dilator to the actual exam and told the doctor in advance that I had previously had vaginismus, had the Botox procedure, but was still nervous about the exam. She was incredibly kind and caring and gently removed the dilator herself and inserted the much, much, much smaller speculum right in. I was so happy that it worked and my hubby even took me to a nice romantic dinner after to celebrate this. It truly is an accomplishment post-procedure and I have complete confidence in you and KNOW that you will have success with this as well. :):):)

[coffee]

Any books you all recommend?

[Heather34]

Hi coffee. I am here for you and know that you will be successful with transitioning. Here are some useful books:
How to have an Orgasm… as often as you want, by Rachel Swift (published by Marlowe and Company).
Rekindling Desire by Barry and Emily McCarthy (published by Brunner-Routledge).
The New Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort and Susan Quilliam (published by Mitchell Beazley).
The Relate Guide to Sex in Loving Relationships, by Sarah Litvinoff (published by Vermilion).